“You’ve accepted your fate? Well, I can’t save you.”
“Oh, you called Dr. Fate? I’m Dr. Inevitable Fate.”
“I want to be Dr. Inevitable Fate! I’ll stand around and do nothing.”
“I’m not sure even a werewolf would survive a nuclear bomb on its back.”
“The Rifts rulebook begs to differ.”
“In Canada, it’s worth 10 cents!”
“That means it’s really worth 4 cents.”
“THAT’s the thing you’re going to forbid me from doing again?”
“You don’t expect a temple of secrets to tell you stuff, do you?”
“‘Cause remember, the member of the party that could get answers out of a dead guy died.”
“I don’t have my computer tonight, so I’m not going to be useful.”
“And this is different from normal?”
“And that is a perfectly reasonable response…”
“There’s a shoe shortage somewhere in the world, and I have to go solve it…”
“And if we REALLY want to go fast, we run up your underwear…”
“And then we’ll be rocket-powered, from all the flames!”
“The SS Deathtrap is still afloat?”
“Yes, and we’ve failed to get rid of Captain Swift.”
“I tried to mutiny three times!”
“Better than going south around the northern point. CRRRK.”
“Full speed ahead!”
“Wait, if we lift it up on the oars, we can make little legs!”
“Oh, that’s right, we do get to vote. Because you were dumb enough to leave that in.”
“How is your kraken doing?”
“He asked the same thing last week. Last time I opened the jug, he seemed angry, so I closed the jug. I don’t think we’ve fed him since the last dead body. So if we get a dead body, I’m going to need that.”
“Oh, now you’re taking HIS side.”
“No, I just don’t want to ever be on that ship! I’m immune to a lot of things, but I don’t think that’s one of them…”
“We can’t find another captain, steal him, and then make him captain!”
“I feel like everything on this ship starts with the butt of SOMETHING.”
“We just discussed that flag of parlay means get up close to them and attack. Do you think we’re the first to have come up with this?”
“Did you think we invented lying?”
“I believe we’ve already played the game of ‘what we shouldn’t name ships.'”
“I’m two levels behind anyway.”
“What? How are you two levels behind?”
“I haven’t updated my character sheet.”
“By definition, he is not taller than himself and cannot be a lesbian. Therefore, he loves cock.”
“I told you, we’re exchanging a greeting salvo.”
“Well, at least now if the World Cup is a disaster, they can say, ‘at least there were no decapitations.'”
“You are confused.”
“Always.”
“But now you are mechanically confused.”
“Always. I’ve spent three weeks trying to figure out how to plug LEDs into my motorcycle. I am mechanically confused.”
“Maybe if you carried around a quiver of specialized throwing shoes…”
“There we go. One very nice shoe of returning.”
“And I quote, ‘All I can do is not interrupt the group.'”
“Hey, I made it an entire hour.”
“And now you’re out of magazine?”
“And technically the dicks were all Jon.”
“Dude, how many hours have you been baking that troll?”
“I’m just trying to not be a distraction, like I wasn’t being a distraction before until I failed.”
“Brian, we need to forge the surrender document.”
“I’m already five pages ahead of you.”
“I believe your platform, sir, was ‘I’m not Mary T and I’m not a fish man.'”
“I cannot speak to you in a normal voice any more…”
“You haven’t spoken to me in a normal voice in weeks.”
“You guys said you didn’t feel like you were railroaded enough, so here you go.”
“Oh, yes. We want your ring and equal rights for fishmen on your ship.”
“Inquisitor of Besmara. I am obligated to enforce the pirate… thing.”
“You CAN have half a rope golem!”
“No you can’t. Then you just have 2 small rope golems.”
“Well, maybe there’s a patron saint of springals in Pathfinder.”
“Fly. Not Sly. No casting of any spell on us could ever make us sly.”