“You’re the one who almost sat in my lap when you got here.”
“But then you refused to hug me, and now I need my space.”
“That explains the ice cream.”
“This is how we deal with emotional breakups, okay?”
“If we would have entertained them a little longer, they would have killed themselves for us.”
“What’s important is that we rolled so well on our dodge plot roll that it came to find us.”
“Yes, it was standing on the corner of the next encounter and said, screw this, I know where they are.”
“It’s like the language of flags, only ours is the language of baking.”
“Kacey is experimenting with interpretive dance to express his love of 1.88% stuffed Oreos.”
“We can have baking or interpretive dance, but not both.”
“Is that a new restaurant – the Kraken Barrel?”
“So when I said, ‘vessel approaching,’ what I really meant was BOMB! BOMB!”
“She went from honored guest to on her knees…”
“He’s journaling. ‘Once again, my incompetent crew is about to get us killed…'”
“Salvatine would spend all of our profits on painting the hull magenta.”
“Not Saucy – the guy’s nickname is Two-Shares.”
“That is the worst hip-hop name ever.”
“Fifteen.”
“What did you roll?”
“Four.”
“You’re so good at this game!”
“I can yell.”
“Well, I can yell too. That’s not a spell.”
“Man the guns… and that is not a euphemism.”
“We did this ACTUALLY for the dress? Not to be funny?”
“Are you not familiar with the nose-down ass-turn maneuver?”
“I am!”
“Unless this was an insurance scam, in which case she’ll be furious.”
“Back in the old days, before we realized that pirating is a whole lot like adventuring on a boat.”
“Ghandi is not an option!”
“Evil Ghandi!”
“Burning and sinking at the same time.”
“It’s going to take a lot of work, but I think I can put that ship back together.”
“That was possibly the Yeviny-est speech ever.”
“And I only know a sloop is a kind of boat because the Beach Boys sang about it.”
“He is completely correct – the Submariner is a complete dick.”
“You’re the captain; why do you keep letting us decide things?”
“Because it doesn’t matter what I decide. You’ll do it anyway.”
“I don’t have a mic to drop, so I just dropped a dice bag.”
“The slave mines. Where they mine the slaves.”
“What are we going to do with the lady Graves?”
“Well, you’re the one wearing her dress, so you get to decide…”
“Sir, I’ll join the crew; just get your head-dongle out of my face!”
“A 22 is a really good number for you! I hope.”
“I’m pretty sure it’s because somebody pounded me over the head repeatedly.”
“Well, you wouldn’t snap out of it.”
“The point of all this was to sell the dress! We weren’t trying to outfit ourselves for a fancy dress party!”
“This is true.”
“Yeah, it IS true. Because I said it.”
“Nothing like wearing magenta and teal stripes to really just rub in the humiliation.”