“WHY can I not have a horse I don’t fist?!”
“We didn’t ruin it. We made it so much more… disgusting…”
“You’re sieging the horse…”
“No, he’s putting it in the other end.”
“So he’s storming the horse.”
“I’m not making Voltron Mule!”
“Svetlana said Big Joe not a good name for a horse. We renamed him Rasputin.”
“Great! So he can never die!”
“One troll named 1d4!”
“Sorry! I forgot we were in combat!”
“Can I swap out create water for create gasoline?”
“Or you could just ask the guy who has literally seven ways to create fire!”
“That’s why I’m going to throw this flammable gold on it!”
“And I think this potion of Cure Moderate Wounds is flammable…”
“You’re going to pirate and illegally distribute something I gave away for free?”
“Could be worse. We could get a squid.”
“Odd. Odd. I almost forgot what a 3 is.”
“Is it bombs? I hope it’s bombs. If it’s not bombs, I cry discrimination.”
“It’s the Eagle Express!”
“Yeah, but werewolves don’t live under bridges.”
“The tarp, we were assholes. The custard, that was totally his fault.”
“Squirrel, squirrel, squirrel, 30. Got it.”
“I’ve got it! One point in survival.”
“We’re all going to die.”
“No, I’m just going to come out with the bear trap on my helmet…”
“You’re going to trap your sundries?”
“I don’t need them. I’m going to go commando!”
“It went from a fun joke to a deadly projectile… in a matter of seconds!”
“I will be looking for Feng’s berries – oh, look, he’s going commando. There they are.”
“Hey, I need 5 minutes with the pig.”
“Not with my bacon!”
“I’m just going to cuddle with it…”
“No, I know why I come here every week. I’m as sick and demented as you fuckers.”
“Really? I thought it was penance…”
“What is the story? Rapunzel?”
“I don’t think he’s going to let down his hump.”
“Boggard? Buggered, maybe.”
“Oooh. Crunchy bit.”
“If at any time, I have a son that’s slightly froggy and you have a daughter that’s slightly human…”
“Is anyone else worried that we’re starting a Deep One population here?”
“I’m standing there trying to pee, and all I can think is, ‘If I have a tapeworm, I can say We…'”
“Because if we had already passed through the hex that had that, I was going to burn the forest down.”
“Is that like a swamp with swagger?”
“If there’s a tentacle that comes out of the pond, I quit.”
“I am sure we’ll have something equally disgusting and gross to bring back next time…”