“Don’t dig the hole too deep; the island might flip over.”
“I tell the kids at the Thursday night game that if they want to do something, they have to use an action verb, for god’s sake.”
“The 80s kind of goes from 1975 to 1994.”
“Except not, because of numbers!”
“It’s not too soon! She was a diseased whore! That’s not hyperbole; that’s her character description!”
“Are we trying to smarten up the room with grammar?”
“I’m not sure Karl Marx was an economist.”
“He talked about the economy; that’s all you need to be an economist.”
“And in fact, if he fails at his job, I don’t just get grumpy about the cold – I DIE!”
“I’m pretty sure most of what she had was plant-based.”
“Or German.”
“Or germinating.”
“Did they fill the rowboat with cannons?”
“No, they filled the rowboat with them.”
“That’s what I could do if I could turn into a bird: chase whores.”
“Well, I have very shiny armor; that’s almost as good as a conscience, right?”
“How am I going to keep up with him if he’s a bird?”
“Put a leash on him.”
“In Texas, you can’t be openly cremated, so I have to go somewhere else for my funeral pyre.”
“So you have to be cremated in a closet?”
“Why is that pigeon cawing?”
“That’s the weirdest-sounding albatross I’ve ever seen!”
“I’m sorry; I sent him to be your conscience. What was I thinking?!”
“I was talking to the crowd. Are you the crowd, Bryan?”
“Tonight I’m an angry prostitute.”
“…alchemists…”
“Hey!”
“You’re not an alchemist; alchemists can throw bombs. You’re a surgeon.”
“The remaining 18 of them attack Kaw… just out of confusion…”
“I mean, Lefty’s shown himself as halfway competent; that means some of you must be too!”
“There was no compliment in there; that was just a backhand.”
“Well, if Sephy got Jesus Christ, then I got Mohammed in all his glory…”
“She got a 9, which doesn’t even rate as Moses’ brother Aaron, if we’re ranking combat prowess in prophets.”
“Please don’t let her hurt me.”
“The thing is… I’ve seen Sarah’s character in combat. I’ll be fine.”
“You both manage to turn your faces away from the spray.”
“I’ve seen that video…”
“My watery eyebrows! Damn it, woman!”
“So neither of my pits are worthwhile.”
“That’s what she said.”
“‘Just attack whatever you can feel.’ Well, I feel sad…”
“Did you say teammate or teabait?”
“I was kind of hoping you said ‘teabait,’ because I wanted to know what the fuck it was.”
“I just want to get her unconscious.”
“Then you should have used ether and not claws…”
“You’re Sam. You want to make a SAM-mich. I can’t spell it out any more.”
“Can you spell it out a little more for me?”
“This is not a fight I want to be involved in, when people are getting punched in the fun bits!”
“If this turns into a cat fight, I don’t get to do anything…”
“That was so weird! The computer goes down, ‘I’m gonna kill that bitch.’ Computer comes back up, ‘I just want to knock her out.’ Pull the power cord; let’s see what happens!”
“Have there been any screams?”
“Oh, there’s been screams…”
“Blood-curdling screams?”
“I will proceed to warn them before I cast the spell, but I won’t give them any time to escape.”
“I believe a ship is on fire.”
“Do we care?”
“I would go help too, but axes do not really fight fires.”
“He says he can’t fight axes with fires.”
“If he doesn’t want his throat ripped out by a shark, he will throw her in the brig!”
“Thank goodness we have those two. They make competent characters.”
“I don’t want the octopus; I want the terrorist.”
“We didn’t allow them to endure food poisoning; we forced them to endure it.”
“I mean, liquor is great, but stolen liquor is better.”