“I thought he was, like, Yammy’s grandfather. In his 70s.”
“That would explain the trollishness.”
“I spend a lot of time hanging out with Hawver?”
“How often does he put your chicken down his pants?”
“We took a castle last week?”
“No, he’s extrapolating based on the lies we told him about last week.”
“That’s a whole lot better than what I thought it was.”
“What did you think it was?”
“I’d rather not say.”
“Look, Thursday night game had one set of rules, Wednesday night game…”
“Yup, you and your trouser chicken missed most of the damage.”
“Two seconds! Two seconds I held that straight face!”
“I did not invent the term ‘murder hoboes.'”
“Well, pirate times were very beard-y.”
“I like the simple plan. We could have been complex and…”
“…good…”
“But I like the simple plan.”
“To be fair, I started coming up with another plan, but then I threw an axe at the first bard I saw.”
“Well, I could go here and flank the bard…”
“Because that joke will never get old.”
“Nope.”
“Well, the entirety of my usefulness just went away.”
“So you’re a bard now?”
“Why do you hate me?”
“I don’t. I just like making jokes about you…”
“I just want to make that very clear. No one is looking in Yammy’s HOLD.”
“Bryan, I need you to make a saving throw. MAKE a saving throw, not like Darryl.”
“It’s down the hallway where Beardy McBloodyface came from.”
“But we do need to find out if they’re devil-haters or just music-haters.”
“I got it. I may set the bar on fire, but I got it.”
“Well, setting the bar on fire was plan B. With everyone inside of it.”
“I thought you guys were just going to kill them.”
“We were, but now they have panache.”
“Which one of them is weak? So far we haven’t found one! Where’s Fishman?”
“We Kacey’d the joint.”
“We came in, and I threw axes.”
“Dude, Bryan, combat is much more important than fucking with you.”
“And more interesting.”
“And we didn’t notice.”
“Excuse me, Mr. Summoned Horror…”
“Oh, sorry, I did actually back away so he would attack you and not me.”
“Your gaping chest wounds are being cunnilingus-ed.”
“I’m just pointing out that I’m never going to live certain things down.”
“Neither is Hawver, and he’s not even here. He has to read about it all in tweets.”
“Well then, move there just so Kacey can’t.”
“Not gaining life is better than losing hit points…”
“He wants to know if he gets a hero point if he just lets himself die.”
“I would like to point out that for 2 weeks in a row, I was not the one to do the stupid thing.”
“If I was a dwarf, I would totally beard-fuck that.”
“That’s going to become the new inappropriate comment.”