“We’re gonna miss him… and his skills… and his combat prowess…”
“Well, I’ve got his skills covered now.”
“Can you imagine? We make him admiral, and then he has to herd us! It’s an initiation!”
“Keep that in mind: I will eject.”
“All right, so nobody wants to mutiny with me. Fine.”
“I didn’t say I wouldn’t… I just said I had a lot invested in this one.”
“I got a 32. Are there any basic concepts we’re missing that I would know?”
“Who made you admiral?”
“I’m not; I’m map-keeper.”
“So he’s not just a fish with a hat.”
“There’s a rolling pin! That’s two things; that legitimizes it.”
“The tactical thinking comes after we fail at the strategic thinking; there’s an order to these things.”
“Darryl has made up a new character to make up for all of our inadequacies.”
“I’m just saying…”
“We seem woefully unprepared?”
“Yeah.”
“I don’t know… you have that ‘new character’ smell…”
“Pirate lords, I get the impression, spend their time in one of two places: in their keeps, because they are lords; or on their ships, because they are pirates.”
“There are like three pages left in the book; we can sacrifice your character to get through it!”
“Let’s just go to the arena and roll the dice!”
“I’ll only surrender once.”
“Only if I can say who you surrender to.”
“You can surrender to me.”
“Wow, I actually made it through that with a straight face…”
“Alignment good!”
“You call him Bag-O-Dicks!”
“Alignment chaotic!”
“Well, I didn’t know there was a visual aid! So his island is more banana-pepper-shaped…”
“You know, you could just use the map…”
“Once we get into the secret cave, are we confident that we’re not going to have to fight the whole island anyway?”
“No.”
“Come with us and you can fire your cannons!”
“Come with us and next time we need you, we’ll be obliged to pay you!”
“And now you’re sailing on to Gannet Island.”
“Where the birds wet their nests.”
“Yes. Where the birds wet their nests.”
“Deskworm? That’s a terrible name for a squadron.”
“Get yourself a new d4. A pointy one! A pointy one!”
“Yeah, you can’t possibly roll a 0.”
“I’ll find a way…”
“I have a lettuce knife. I call it… a knife.”
“Is he just gonna pick up some lubbers on the way and hang them from the yardarm? Because we’re all salts here…”
“Ironically, yes, you guys did get all the NPCs killed.”
“If we fail to kill Harrigan, then next week: Wraith!”
“We can kill Harrigan AND take his favorite toy, right?”
“We will work together like three broken gears.”
“You didn’t sink my ship; we can still be friends.”
“Yeah, but then we’d have to do the ‘Hunt For Red October’ episode.”
“‘Cause I got the Director’s Cut, which is like 34 hours or something.”
“I rolled one double digit!”
“Like I said, the battle is throwing up thick smoke, obscuring the fortress and making this plan at ALL possible…”
“Can tonight be Ham Night?”
“Uh… no, tonight will be Oxen Night. Because we have oxen left over and I don’t want them on my ship.”
“Oxenite is a really weird material to make your armor out of…”
“Wait… did we… do something right?”
“Is this the ship from Goonies? Is that how it got here?”
“Should we throw another oxen over, Captain?”
“Couldn’t hurt…”
“Just don’t fall in there or it will be a scene from Anemoneville Horror.”
“His job is to answer the silver bird when we send it back to the ship with questions.”
“Well, you guys are beginning a dungeon crawl, so I want to give Yamarino a chance to fail to show up.”
“You know why I love your Monday group? Because every time you talk about them, it makes us look good.”