“I’m not sure I’d trust him…”
“You can stop there.”
“There are more efficient ways of cheating!”
“All right; are we going to let this monster eat Bryan’s face?”
“I believe we had some initiative to roll…?”
“I have no initiative.”
“Demon taint! Demon taint!”
“No, the man drilling will come later.”
“I don’t foresee it getting better. We may have already hit the high water mark.”
“I may have peed on the high water mark…”
“Mine are neutral aligned.”
“Mine are misaligned…”
“Hey, you’re also immune to elves!”
“Elven Immunity does not mean you’re immune to elves!”
“I don’t want to flame Shark-dog.”
“I don’t understand you people.”
“You’re all going to shorten it, so I’m going to make sure it shortens decently.”
“Can I surrender now?”
“You can surrender, but don’t stop singing.”
“Include the surrender in your singing, so we don’t lose the bonuses.”
“So what you’re saying is that I should wait to cast my swarm until after we’ve killed these swarms.”
“What I’m saying here is that I think we need a cleric after all.”
“Hey, look, I could have gotten as high as a 27 on that roll, so there’s no way I could have not failed.”
“I know how I’m going to fix it… even Darryl doesn’t enjoy making characters this often.”
“Is the ability useful? If yes, then I gave it up.”
“Before you do that, I need you to go down there and make a will save.”
“Yeah… let’s not do that…”
“I’ve seen your Monday night group; you didn’t need a madness spell to do that. The suggestion that it would be entertaining would be enough.”
“Your comforting thought is US?!”
“You’re like a Harry Potter villain: Lord SmolderMore.”
“Granted, horribly unlikely dice rolls have been what killed half of my characters…”
“What DO you have, Saucy? Herpes?”
“Nope.”
“Not regular wasps. Illegal alien wasps.”
“Hey, cool. My max hit points and my current hit points are both palindromes.”
“Yay! And I didn’t hit anyone important! Except myself!”
“You DO need an electronic device, sir; evidently this paper thing is just a fad for you.”
“You just did a shit-ton of damage. Apparently on the bad guy, which is nice…”
“Yeah, since you’re standing next to him and all.”
“We have a Cheese Shop bard, is what you’re saying?”
“Friends were just a delivery method for VD for Mary T.”
“I think I established months ago that Blackleaf does not leave friends behind.”
“We didn’t leave him behind; he left us, because he didn’t let me check the door before he tried to open it!”
“I could find him if I had a piece of flesh.”
“I’ve been licking his flesh.”
“Are you dead?! We can find you easily if you’re dead!”
“Mine works dead or alive.”
“So Kacey and I are on similar pages, it’s just his book is bigger.”
“Why is this not a cock ring of feather falling?!”
“I don’t know… whatever cockroachery he’s got around him.”
“We’re six monkeys and an actual monkey…”
“It says right there: ‘PCs should be 12th level when Pete disappears.'”