“Wait, do we set a standard?”
“We set a bar? Our bar is like a rolling pin sitting on the ground.”
“I’m gonna say a rolling pin is too big…”
“But don’t quote me on that.”
“Oh, I’m gonna quote you.”
“No, Sarah does the quotes.”
“And I told him that unless it was free Pathfinder adventure module and free cup night, the answer was no.”
“Except they don’t have stand-up poetry nights there.”
“They do when I’m there.”
“Octo-rito? That’s like when you eat all eight flavors of Dorito at the same time.”
“I don’t believe any of you.”
“And most of the time, when I think something, it’s wrong. Has anyone else noticed that?”
“Yes.”
“I don’t know that I can do anything with that information.”
“You could surrender.”
“It’s rude to step on another player’s toes like that. They plan to surrender, but you surrender first because you go first in initiative.”
“Ah! Burn a brake into the ship so the fire can’t burn past it!”
“So Oslo… how do you feel about lightning?”
“What are you gluing Pete to?”
“The rigging!”
“Wait, I see how this combat is going! This week, THEY’RE the PCs!”
“Do we not want to blow things apart?”
“No, we want to blow things apart. In fact, that’s my next move…”
“Devils, demons, they’re all the same.”
“Racist.”
“From hell’s heart, I shall leap into the ocean at thee!”
“You went there; I just got stuck there because I’m a pervert.”
“This is no longer a game of who can say the same thing.”
“This is now a game of who folds first.”
“This is a game of ‘anybody got a lighter? I need to set this thing on fire…'”
“Because it’s awesome and I’ve totally forgotten to use it for the last four or five months. Maybe more.”
“How’d you end up on the ground again?!”
“I never stood up.”
“However, I will tell you that there are things happening on the back of the ship that you’ve only seen happen INSIDE a cannon before…”
“There’s a very interesting battle going on over there! Captain, sails at one third…”
“All ahead slow!”
“I got to kill a bunch of things. Character design accomplished.”
“The definition of ‘fleet’ is multiple ships. More than one.”
“Really?”
“Three points of plunder worth of random tchotchkes… This is the weirdest plunder ever.”
“Take… Act… The confusion. Attack!”
“What?”
“That monkey is NOT alive any more.”
“Nobody even remembers you have one until it’s unimportant.”
“Or until it’s funny.”
“He’s not the man he used to be.”
“I still have both my testicles!”
“No, you’re not here!”
“I’d say many things have already changed.”
“Yes, I became a war hero!”
*silence*
“I agree.”
“I thought for a minute you were going to say, ‘I accept.'”
“No, that’s what was on the inside.”
“We’ll see which breaks first!”
“Bryan or the bottle?”
“So what I’m hearing here is that Bryan wants to sit in a corner and play with himself.”