“Speaking of doing things for money, I got a webcam…”
“Uhhh…”
“Well, this IS Wraith: the Oblivious.”
“So we’re taking the midnight train FROM Georgia…”
“Um, Bryan? How many years in a row did you wear a dress for Halloween?”
“I said my sexuality was not in question!”
“As soon as he makes it off the train safely.”
“So he won’t be making it off the train, then.”
“Because it’s very well thought-out by eight very intelligent people. Okay, seven very intelligent people and me…”
“I apologise; I’ve gotten you into something larger than I had ever intended.”
“A train!”
“I don’t like being that close to your ghostly balls! It’s musty!”
“That’s a point we’ll never get.”
“Good role-playing?”
“Wisdom.”
“This coffee tastes like ass.”
“Drink from the other side of the cup!”
“He has a first name; what’s his first name?”
“Professor.”
“Find his voice. We’ll stop being distracting.”
“No, we won’t, Bryan.”
“I know, but it’s one of those lies that people like to hear…”
“Just get a couple of more quips out, then call it a character.”
“Look, I was in an insane asylum for 100 years.”
“And did your wife get laid while you were in there?”
“The Eighties were a very stupid time, weren’t they?”
“Look, when I was in high school, I got laid. I didn’t go to class like a nerd.”
“We’re tanks?”
“Yes. You’re velcomes.”
“No, I just realized that with Pandemonium, I can create blood and pus and things, so I could cover her bed with blood and freak the doctors out!”
“So out of game, I’m going to suggest we don’t split the party, because we’re already pretty inefficient as a group…”
“No! We haven’t met the Wife. Stabby Girl is Not the Wife!”
“About five days.”
“Probably not enough time for her to change her name back.”
“She’s in a COMA!”
“She was in a coma at that point! Now, it is conceivable that she woke up, changed her name, and went back into a coma…”
“Or, ‘Adam’s dead,’ which actually conveys the message without being a THREAT.”
“Oh, and you want my pencil too?”
“‘That wasn’t in the contract!’ ‘Because I couldn’t write it!'”
“That’s like the most emo thing you could say. ‘Blood fades, but indelible ink is forever!'”
“I’m your Shadow. It’s my job to tempt you! This is the first time I’ve tempted you to do something naughty.”
“How much is it to Pandemonium that electrocuting that woman machine?”
“Damn Hawver and his fish…”
“And everybody wins. Except the woman being electrocuted.”
“Our causes of celebration are not most folks’…”
“Trying to rip their souls out? No, that’s not usually the way you get people out of a coma.”
“I was scared! They were electrocuting her! …And it was funny.”
“They were canoodling, but not with the full noodle!”
“I… don’t think I understand the question.”
“Yeah, I don’t either.”
“Why am I in the hospital?”
“Well, there was this jello incident…”
“It’s almost like you caught her off guard, because she was in the middle of another question.”
“I’ve had therapy sessions like that…”
“Because I go the extra mile to make up crappy stories…”
“…That we then destroy.”
“To be fair, the story’s just porcelain-shaped, and we’re shitting in it…”