“Friends don’t let friends drink and kern”
“Spouses do”
“Okay, I admit it – I like better than you!”
“It doesn’t travel on the X axis, it doesn’t travel on the Y axis, it doesn’t travel on the Z axis. It travels on the umlaut axis.”
“If I kill him, he’s off the fucking train.”
“I… don’t see where they put the punch cards.”
“I NEVER laid a hand on my wife.”
“That makes for a problematic marriage, doesn’t it?”
“So I bring this up because if everybody’s grabbing the wheelchair, we’re going for a RIDE.”
“I’m going to suggest here that I’m not the best person to go to for suggestions and plans!”
“I think you’re very confused about how religion works…”
“So am I, at this point.”
“No, I called HIM a savage.”
“Oh, that’s all right, then.”
“You think we got something accomplished last week?! It took us three hours to not kill that woman!”
“I’m a happily married man!”
“She’s dead. And so are you.”
“It’s not like a freaking clown car! You can’t keep just shoving people in and hoping there’s more room!”
“Maybe that was her motive! She wanted to be a REAL teacher!”
“Okay, he’s from the furthest in the future…”
“I wasn’t even listening because I thought it was a stupid plan before you’d started.”
“Okay, so that was the first plan… make nine more.”
“Well, Plan 9 is already taken care of…”
“Wait, somebody can generate fire. Is it you? Is it you? Is it me?”
“Kacey…? Can I point something out?”
“Yeah?”
“This group.”
“I know! I’m trying to help!”
“Anything written on today’s date… I have no idea what today’s date is. Time has lost all meaning.”
“Oh, no, he’s the professor. I’m…”
“Maryanne.”
“I thought you were good at that!”
“No, he said he likes to riffle through women’s underwear.”
“I don’t know how long the German accent is going to last.”
“Well, less penis and more balls.”
“That’s what she said!”
“Per standard Pathfinder mechanics, the most obvious thing in the room is her, sitting in the bathtub.”
“How long have you been able to talk to the living?”
“The whole time.”
“Remember what I said about how I was going to miss you…?”
“I would let you boil a bar of soap.”
“So what’s going on in the bathroom? Is the toilet vomiting? Are the sheets bleeding?”
“Because I was thinking maybe somebody was already in her. What was that word – giggity?”
“There’s really no way I can talk about this power without sounding like I’m talking about sex, is there?”
“His incompetent, foppish behavior was a clever ruse all along! His cover was built up over the course of 4 Pathfinder games!”
“We did not play Star Wars. We played Tarp and Custard.”
“What gift?”
“You left the knife. In my cat.”
“If you’re Dwayne, how can you be better than Dwayne?”
“Um, you lose 4 Corpus from the worst high five ever.”
“Next time, leave me hanging!”
“Can you whittle just the dark side off?”
“Yeah, I’ll take Castigate… what is it?”
“Ok, so, I have to come up with another Harrowing now. A third one.”