“I don’t want him in my junk. Or on my boat.”
“Find a hotel to burn down with him in it? It’s tradition.”
“It wasn’t cheap, it wasn’t expensive – it was inexpensive.”
“Can you take him out and toss him in again.”
“Then let’s be more clear: don’t drive it like you stole it, but drive it like it’s stolen.”
“I can drive, but I don’t have parking on my sheet.”
“But he has a really large soup pot downstairs. Really large. Suspiciously large.”
“Good cop, bad cop, repair cop.”
“You could repair things with that roll, Kacey!”
“I could be piloting things with this roll.”
“How old do you think I am?”
“One thousand, two hundred… and eighty-six.”
“The last two digits are surprisingly correct.”
“Because there are weak-minded sorcerers out there.”
“Yep.”
“Sending the Frenchman is the same as sending someone alone.”
“Are we interested in attacking Mr. Ho face-on?”
“Let me rephrase the question: are we interested in attacking Mr. Lin? Yes.”
“We can put a cannon on a junk.”
“We’re not going to.”
“If only we could turn into a pile of eels, we could follow the ship to its destination.”
“Well…”
“That is NOT an option.”
“If we’re following them close enough for them to board us, we’re close enough for them to notice us…”
“But we also mummify Mr. Lin and put him in a closet before we leave.”
“Now you’re talking absurdity. Standing still for nine months is perfectly reasonable, but teleporting through empty space is madness.”
“It’s from Jack Brady, but it’s written in Chinese.”
“So it’s written in fish.”
“No. Jason did not write it.”
“Oh, is that what I’ve been doing wrong these forty years? English butler.”
“Oh, what a change. We’re actually going somewhere that isn’t going to smell like shit.”
“No, he didn’t say that.”
“Whose car are we driving?”
“The one that can still drive?”
“Kacey, no matter what, I won the ‘who looked the most stupid today’ contest.”
“Uh… seat belts aren’t a thing yet.”
“I INVENT them.”
“That involves a lot of walking.”
“I will drop you off at the gate, and then back around the corner and park the damn car.”
“They look so happy to be there, like they took the machine gun to the beach. They’ve got their socks pulled up…”
“You too can earn the machine gun merit badge.”
“We’re going in the side gate. Let’s differentiate between side door and side gate, because I’m not going through a side door.”
“I don’t remember his name.”
“But you remember his face.”
“No, no, his shoulders, more.
“Yes.”
“I’m… wondering if we should kill the little girl.”
“Back at the warehouse.”
“So you shatter the mirror, thereby removing your only means of seeing your adversary.”
“Bearing in mind that we have seen a lot of weird shit, there is an unseen weird shit in that room, and I’m not going back in there.”
“I may be in the kitchen and unskilled at medicine, but that’s the wrong way to transfer blood.”
“Every time you start talking about your sword taking souls, Guy is just convinced that he isn’t understanding you, that his English is not good enough.”
“Who are you shooting at?”
“Pfft. Personal space invader.”
“Swarm of locusts gives you an idea what it looks like, but…”
“I would just like to say I’m glad I’m fighting the invisible man!”
“And you guys are currently occupied with the invisible man.”
“And that’s the only thing keeping me sane right now.”
“And that’s a d10 Sanity loss? Okay… I’m going to need another bath.”
“Four… Investigator explodes into a frenzy of violence.”
“I’m already there. Let’s go on to the next one.”