“I’m not saying I’m going to make them do it. I’m saying I’m going to accompany them in and draw it when no one’s looking. I’m not a monster!”
“Well, we’re about 37 minutes from my burning the manor to the ground, so y’all might want to get on that.”
“It was the accent that really made that work. I mean, you say ‘drawing penises’ in a normal voice, and it doesn’t work.”
“I think there’s a conversation at the other end of the table that I’m not participating in.”
“I think there’s a conversation being had at Pete, but Pete is not participating in it.”
“I think we established at the end of last session that I’m the backup plan.”
“That’s right. You’re the only thing keeping us from a TPK.”
“You deal with the rats, I’ll deal with the voice?”
“I’ll deal with this IV.”
“Then let’s try to poke it without falling into the circle that we’ve been warned is dangerous.”
“No, I warned *her.*”
“Can I borrow a pencil?”
“Nah. I got the bag out just to torment you.”
“We all know what happens when you stare at things consistently: you end up a million years in the past and die before we all meet you.”
“What kind of human was it?”
“I think this horn means it was a male!”
“Nigh invulnerable, like the Tick.”
“Fill it with holes instead of me.”
“That was the plan.”
“Is aiming a thing?”
“…Yes. It’s generally considered that your characters are aiming.”
“I’m feeling pretty good about my hospital bed.”
“However, you see through the hole that the heiress is covered in gore. The butler is going to be upset with you.”
“Uh. Which direction did you push it?”
“Backwards.”
“Towards me, you motherfucker.”
“Better than eels.”
“Sort of.”
“And you can have my jacket.”
“I will probably need more than just a jacket, you motherfucker.”
“If we had to put a digit on it, it would be single?”
“Yes. Possibly a singular digit.”
“Having re-re-re-re-disposed of the monster…”
“Are you going with the ‘ambulance’ or the ‘fire truck’?”
“Can we make sure that we thoroughly douse the cabinet that’s bigger in the inside?”
“Yes.”
“When you guys say you burned it down, salted the earth, ripped the planet in half…”
“And peed on it.”
“Then I want to make sure I get the color of the pee right.”
“We’ve made it to day three without addressing that Mr. Lin is going to die of dehydration.”
“No, I’m attending to it. I haven’t forgotten.”
“I’ve got good news and bad news about this. While *we* know that we’ve destroyed her mind…”
“*We* don’t.”
“We’re split into kind of a nice three-way.”
“What?!”
“From the guy that is not an asshole.”
“That we are aware of.”
“So far.”
“I think it is time to untie him.”
“Not necessary. The ropes are sliced through.”
“You cannot find his head.”
“That’s unfortunate, but an acceptable loss.”
“We’re only burning this place down from the second floor up.”
“Yeah, the Wong Pu river now has some little bits of rope and some really nice towels.”
“…That I’m pretty sure someone took a taste of.”
“Yes, I did.”
“Yeah, that was soylent blue.”
“Does it say anything about tasting it?”
“No. It figures if you need a snack, you’re going to go down to the kitchen.”
“That was the point. It says the blood of the innocent – I’m trying to figure out how much blood we need.” *pause* “…That did not come out the way I intended.”
“We were more likely to burn his fingertips off than cut his hands off”
“Wait, how do I have a higher mythos than you?”
“I died.”
“Did we figure out how much blood?”
“And how innocent?”
“Since I am not a cultist, my blood would suffice.”
“Well, since I can’t chant, I’m happy to donate my blood.”
“So the scale has gone from ‘not a cultist’ to somewhere between ‘virgin’ and ‘Frenchman.'”
“Strange cat and children.”
“Ah.”
“I think ‘strange captive children’ was better.”
“Is there anybody in this party that has 0 Cthulhu Mythos?”
“I don’t think draining it into a bag makes it innocent again.”
“It’s plastic and it’s not biodegradable, but it’s not evil!”
“She doesn’t translate exactly what you say.”
“Yes, because otherwise the party would have been chased out of China.”
“How much does a street urchin cost?”
“They’re filled with Mythos. And lice.”
“I’m not willing to go that far.”
“I wasn’t willing to cut off hands…”
“You can dance if you want to. But your friends will leave you behind.”
“I feel like we’re going to have to do with magic like the A-Team had to do with B.A…”
“I like that we’re specializing in the good kind of arson.”
“You have to go on vacation. Please. Go now.”