“I’ve broken his will to snark.”
“To be fair, it is possible to denote a person and their parasite separately.”
“Like Jason and Bryan.”
“A symbiotic parasitic relationship?”
“That’s why they both need wives, because someone has to support this system.”
“She doesn’t understand you; she pities you.”
“I have to say, Jason – the dog gets certain allowances. You may not lick my wife’s elbows.”
“Did you just say ‘you humans’?”
“I did not realize that two hundred years ago, cows were allowed to drive.”
“What did you kill it with?”
“Violence.”
“It has been eight years since Kacey’s characters have gone into a circle.”
“It’s been longer than that.”
“I feel like everything bad in your life can be connected to a sentence that contains the word fun.”
“Did you just lick my pants?”
“Better the dog than Jason.”
“Better your pants than your elbow.”
“Has your fur always been loose?”
“What the hell?”
“The problem is that the instructions weren’t very explicit, and Pete’s character is a moron.”
“Have you ever tried to get a cow to carry one of these in their pockets? They won’t do it. Kangaroos will carry it in their pockets, but not cows.”
“We can get in and out faster if we avoid distractions.”
“Bryan, you’ll have to leave.”
“I didn’t say I was the best climber out there. I just said I wss better than you assholes at 20.”
“Can I tell anything about him?”
“He’s dead.”
“That was kind of implied by the word corpse.”
“Where did you come from?”
“My house is in Kunkudgery.”
“And…?”
“And the image of Buckley fades out.”
“Can I have your flask?”
“If you commit a murder, you’re going to leave your bedroll behind. It’s just common sense.”
“Well, I gave you a whole list of skills to try. It’s not my fault you don’t have them.”
“Then why are we here?”
“It sounded better than Africa.”
“I think it sounded closer than Africa.”
“Dale, you’re a terrible liar. Was there a ghost?”
“Uhh… You’re right. I am a terrible liar.”
“You’re an alien from a million years in the future inhabiting the body of a Chinese man, and this is what’s unrealistic?”
“So why are there animals that have fallen down this hole when there’s jerky down the other one?”
“…You see the entire floor of the cave undulate.”
“Nope!”
“Have you met the snakes in Australia?”
“Have you met the Frenchmen in France?”
“Yes, but we aren’t throwing dynamite at them.”
“Technically we didn’t explore that cave. We saw snakes and left.”
“Do you want to explore it?”
“Nope.”
“Do your balls feel ok?”
“Yup. All three of them.”
“The door to the largest building opens.”
“The outhouse?”
“It’s so you can poop with company.”
“It’s for when you give two shits.”
“Can I beat it out of him?”
“I’d allow it.”
“I have undermine. Can I roll to undermine him?”