“Steven Hawking would run my ass down.”
“Kevin, as the GM, what do you say?”
“I’m not saying shit.”
“Either that, or these are old-timey submarines that didn’t work out.”
“We ARE going to have to found a Monkey Town at some point.”
“We’ll come back later and say, ‘WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?’ And they’ll answer, ‘BECAUSE YOU’RE BASTARDS!'”
“We don’t call our group of ships a fleet. We call it a paragraph.”
“I’ve heard that fish-men don’t have feelings, anyway.”
“Of all the fish-men we’ve had on this ship – ”
“You’re the most recent!”
“‘Here, fish-man, here’s some sunscreen.’ ‘Why does this smell like teriyaki?'”
“Yeahhh! I am a ma’am, thank you!”
“Funny, but you don’t have boobs.”
“He looks kind of quizzically at Charlie, because he wasn’t the captain the last time you met.”
“Yeah, we had him squibbed…”
“I don’t know what your problem with tall women is. The best women are tall women.”
“And the ones with beards!”
“Pretty sure I can sell my body to make that happen. And even if it’s not necessary, I can sell my body anyway…”
“He was very important. He invented dirt.”
“Oh, for the love of Jesus, it might be tomorrow by the time we [finish following the slow old guy and] get to this woman!”
“He brought that fire from the gods themselves!”
“You realize that your generic description of an elderly butler just gave us like 10 minutes of amusement.”
“I never once said elderly. You guys wrote that yourselves.”
“He’s actually a 12 year old Mwongi lad.”
“She is tall even for an elf. So she is a lesbian.”
“…And no self-preservational instinct.”
“That’s not true at all!”
“You should mention our previous achievements. For instance, there was that fishing boat we captured…”
“We got 400 pounds of mackeral!”
“So, we have an interesting variety of jobs we can do.”
“Most of them involving blood…”
“I’m looking for a letter of marque. We want to be real, legit pirates!”
“It’s a calamari.”
“It’s a kraken.”
“Trust me, I eat these every time I come into port. It’s calamari.”
“No, it’s in a bigger bowl, and that makes it a kraken.”
“I think we’ve done really well tonight.”
“That’s because we have low standards.”
“But I think you have to stay to yourself, why do you want to be a pirate of the Shackles?”
“Because it’s in the book.”
“Because I have Besmara’s tripod!” (pointing down)
“He’s pointing at the shark-dog again, isn’t he.”
“Yeah… uh… ‘May you never find a barnacle on your backside.'”
“So much for that 18 charisma…”
“Next time we pass that way, we’ll check on the corpses – I mean, Mwongi…”
“To be fair, even if I gave obligation to go back to Rock, I lie. A lot. I could be lying now; I lose track.”
“Shark-dog likes your kraken.”
“He’d like it more with garlic butter.”
“I’d like everyone more with garlic butter.”
“The awesome part is, we’re carrying around a bunch of salt water, in case we want something more savory.”
“The best part is, we can tell Mary, ‘Release the kraken!'”
“That’s what she calls her snatch…”
“Can we NOT have him be the lookout any more?”
“92.”
“92?”
“Darryl, you may have killed that guy.”
“Maybe you should do your job and tell the marines to do their job and latch onto the ship instead of killing people with excessive blood!”
“Okay. Whatever. That’ll be 9 points of damage for the lie.”