“And that’s just a whole other set of jokes that I’m not going to be the initiator of…”
“I think the only thing we’ve stolen is our dignity.”
“No, I think we gave that away a long time ago.”
“DO dinosaurs have nipples? Do you know that for a fact, Bryan?”
“I would like to order the boneless, skinless chicken with nipples, please.”
“If it doesn’t have skin, IT DOESN’T HAVE NIPPLES!”
“It’s not like I came here with the intention to talk about chicken nipples!”
“You can’t have half a rope, and you can’t have chicken nipples.”
“Look at these horrible bi-clopean chickens!”
“That one can’t compete with the chicken nipples that came before it?”
“What about chicken nickles?”
“I demand it be added to the laws of piracy right now: no chicken nickles.”
“My girlfriend’s the same way.”
“She’s 6?”
“She’s got something behind her waterfall?”
“…So she’s driving you the right way.”
“Mercilessly!”
“Dicks came up while we were talking about chicken nipples?”
“There hadn’t been a dick that had come up in a while…”
“Really, you’re going to use English against me? These words are related for a reason!”
“No one expects pirates in a hat.”
“So would that make it a hat brimming with pirates?”
“Because apparently we have to declare now whether things have nipples, just for Bryan’s sake.”
“And it’s only 25 feet, so I only need a quarter rope!”
“Oh, is that my new nickname? ‘Maw of Invitation’?”
“I think ‘the Gaping Maw of Invitation’ should be Mary’s ship.”
“Well, it is what you make it.”
“Mostly I just make it into a hat…”
“Bryan’s actions have consequences.”
“Especially for the chicken.”
“What the hell did they use to breach this?”
“Stench, apparently.”
“Hey, I got a buzz! …Oh, it was from Bryan.”
“You’re our community butt-flap.”
“Shit, it’s a loading screen! Everybody run!”
“Darryl, what was the word for having one nipple? Because Cheryl does not believe one is an option.”
“And now she’s actually mad at herself for arguing nipple numbers with me.”
“She should be. She should be.”
“John once had to take a break from a board game to go Wikipedia cucumbers.”
“It was potatoes, thank you.”
“In some cases, ‘as many as they can’ is 1 or 0, but as many as they can!”
“What if they’re the hands of Hand ninjas?”
“Why aren’t we playing a game where we fight the Hand?”
“I want to be in a game where the Hand are fighting the Foot. A whole group of body parts.”
“It is going after Captain Charlie Swift. Evidently it is a critic.”
“I came up with another verse, but I don’t think it’s appropriate.”
“You don’t think it’s appropriate HERE?”
“How inappropriate is it?”
“I feel bad just thinking of it.”
“You’ve just been Farouked!”
“I like how he went Gregorian after he got the thumb up his butt.”
“Did you try peeing on it? Everyone pee on the captain!”
“To be fair, the last time I saw someone pee on everything, he got shot in the head…”
“No, you haven’t. If you had killed something before, I would have had respect for you at some point.”
“2 points of Con damage.”
“Ohh. I’d rather take the 9 points of damage, please.”
“Stop taking my shit.”
“No, you stop taking my shit!”
“Look, I took that shit fair and square…”
“Hey, there’s this awesome Kickstarter! It’s called ‘Matt needs lunch.'”
“54 damage.”
“Fi- it’s dead.”
“The only dress code requirement, technically, is a mask…”
“I know what I’m wearing!”
“There’s no magic in here, but you do find enough to form…”
“Voltron?”
“Collins isn’t here! Somebody had to say it!”
“Why did that sound like a complete and utter failure from over here?”
“Remember, he’s YOUR friend.”