“That would be ‘hey, asshole.'”
“That’s very rude.”
“Have you met us?”
“According to this, it’s only a 240 foot walk.”
“I could stretch that out to an hour, easily.”
“Unfortunately, we have arrived in the middle of their foggy season, which lasts from 1823 to 1964.”
“Every character of mine has relied on being more of a coward than the rest of you.”
“What do you mean ‘your earth’? You don’t have an earth.”
“How long does it take to walk from the mist to the mist?”
“That’s not something people tend to measure.”
“Does he go down if you punch him in the chest?”
“I go down if you punch me in the chest.”
“I already know that about you.”
“This seems like a bad place to be in general – not to be rude – so why do you say that it’s been a bad time recently?”
“Did he have an outrageous hat?”
“Yes.”
“Then I’m not a Vistani.”
“We can get you a hat.”
“If I do it on your corpse, it won’t be for you.”
“Did you just say ‘shove lemon wafers down socks’?”
“I put them in the holes; I don’t dig them.”
“Wait, how do we know she’s left the house twice?”
“Unless there’s a four-fanged vampire…”
“That’s what I assumed.”
“Look, vampires aren’t four-fanged, and I need you to just accept this for a little while.”
“Can one of you roll medicine or something to give her one more blood-sucking?”
“Do you know him?”
“We’re not all related, you know! I’m a very jolly wizard, and he sounds like he wasn’t.”
“He didn’t even know there’s a mountain.”
“He doesn’t get out much. Not when cleaning is his hobby.”
“She gives you a dream pastry.”
“I’m going to cast detect magic on that bastard later.”
“Wouldn’t it be great if the dungeon level was pastry? Not even monsters or anything, just, like, donuts and stuff.”
“I think when I see one of those open-mouthed ghouls coming at me, I’m going to shove the dream pastry in its mouth and let it escape Barovia for a while.”
“I thought you were going to eat it!”
“Did you look at that woman?”
“I didn’t know we could pay with children!”
“Presumably you have to own children…”
“So one kid is worth two pastries…”
“Do you own the kid now?”
“Only half. I only gave him one gold!”
“So you’re saying being sold for pastries is the cure for vampirism?”
“Besides, I’m still doing calculations on what percentage of teenager I own.”
“Too much.”
“‘Unhand the child now, fiend,’ I say, from a safe distance behind the paladin.”
“If we went back and… helped… the priest’s son, then we have a replacement for consolation!”
“Illusion.”
“That makes sense.”
“And necromancy.”
“Don’t eat the biscuits!”
“I don’t want any undead mincemeat pie.”
“Just making sure that everyone’s OK. I was good leaving three plot hooks ago.”