“I didn’t think it needed to be said, but now it does – if you need something to not be blown up or destroyed, you need to tell Yeveny.”
“Did you intend to [blow the fortress up]?”
“Ehhh… 70-40.”
“Ignoring which side not blowing it up fell down on…”
“And that 70 + 40 is 110…”
“The lady and the fishmonger…”
“Fishmonger?”
“He summons fish-things!”
“Actually, isn’t there another name for the continent?”
“Africa.”
“Ever since I voted for you, everything else has gone wrong.”
“I told you before, if there’s any way for me to cast a negative vote for the fish…”
“I don’t know if you noticed, but he’s getting creepier.”
“So is she.”
“Captain Charlie Swift says he wants to waterski. Everyone blow on the sails…”
“Don’t be logical at me. I just lost a vote.”
“See, the problem with posting things on Twitter is that it’s impossible to capture Bryan’s note of absolute despair.”
“I have to admit that I’m not the smartest peanut…”
“Is that your name?”
“It would be really unfortunate if I had to throw you down the stairs.”
“I do believe the safe word is ‘will you marry me?’…”
“Well, we need a new lake. This one is impure.”
“Does anyone have ‘Track Magical Treasure Bird’?”
“I think if you’re tracking a flying treasure bird, that’s Appraisal, not Survival.”
“You know, I knew of a horse who had that skill…”
“It was said that the horse was truly the ruler of the kingdom…”
“Uh… birds don’t grind, right?”
“Okay, here’s what I propose – we cook THIS bird, and…”
“Okay, here’s my plan: we scare the shit out of them, and whichever one doesn’t poop is the magical one.”
“That was embarrassing AND painful.”
“Story of my life…”
“All right, now how do we catch it?”
“You got us all the way here, and you’re just asking that now?”
“I’d shoot myself in the head, but it’s hard to do with a throwing axe.”
“I don’t know why I said that in your voice.”
“Probably because I was thinking it.”
“Very loudly.”
“That’s what extra block and tackle was for! Now we can’t get dwarf up into crow’s nest!”
“It’s an uncomfortable feeling, but I agree with the fish-man…”
“That’s what happened in ‘Treasure Island’, dammit.”
“Yeah, but that was fantasy.”
“And that woman over there is the epicenter of the next four plagues that will devastate this planet.”
“So what you’re saying here is Robert Lewis Stevenson is full of shit.”
“I would imagine we have a full complement of tools to put our ship back together, given how often we have to put our ship back together.”
“No, no, it floats – you just look really awkward.”
“See, I wasn’t here for that.”
“That’s okay. We’ll constantly remind him of it until you’ve got it.”
“Boat quietly, Bryan!”
“I’ll sing the stealth song!”
“I sleep in the nude.”
“I’m sure you do…”
“That’s why no one has challenged you for the captaincy.”
“Sir, we found a fishman beating the shit out of a rudder.”
“‘What did you do?’ ‘Sir, we put some food on a hook…'”
“…Say the Death Knell stalks its prey for two nights before dragging it down to a watery hell on the third.”
“So we’ve got time!”
“They think we are a whale. Can we fly a flag of ‘we are not a whale’?”
“They walk like men headed to the gallows. Not because they’re going on the ghost ship, but because Mary T. was fingering at them…”
“I am immediately leading the appraise parade.”
“Was that a snorty laugh?”
“Yes, but his sarcophagus has balls!”
“Sarah, they’re not testicles, I promise.”