“Doctorate studies, also known as forgery?”“I have that.” “I am really hoping that if things go well on Friday, I might actually want to run again.”“The first thing you need is a different group.” “Sardonyx is my spirit gem.” “Assault with a deadly weapon or murder.”“The thug starter kit.” “Don’t worry, on your stone I’ll […]
“It was totally worth thunder-waving the nursery.”“Plant nursery, not child nursery. He did not Thunder Wave the younglings.” “You hear the distant sound of hernia.” “It’s cloaca clobberin’ time.” “You do know that’s a demon, right?”“We never try talking to them first!”“Do you want a pact? Because that’s how you get a pact.” “Schroedinger’s vrock.” […]
“Are you sure it’s not a mirror?”“There’s five of us.”“Three, sir!”(deep sigh) “My darkvision is better than yours!”“It’s artificial…” “I was going to try diplomancy to begin with.”“Huh?”“I don’t understand.” “Notice how I volunteered you for the stabbing.”“Notice how I was standing at the front.”“Notice how I’m standing at the back.” “Transmutation. My specialty.”“Is it?”“That’s […]
“Please stop. Please stop. I know you want to get to the doing stuff part, but let’s at least try to do the thinking part first.” “There’s nothing in the room but a glowing blue lever.”“This isn’t suspicious at all.” “I’m going to go look at the lever. I’m not going to pull the lever […]
“And we know who’s going to push the button.”“Why are you all looking at me?” “I got to grapple a table.”“I lassoed one. Sort of.”“I got trampled by one.”“That sounds less good.”“That’s Morgan.”“Less good?” “This is why you fail.”“He did not fail.”“He quit.”“Look, I’m taking a long rest. A VERY long rest.” “I’m not saying […]
“I feel like you’re making this up.” pause “You in fact have 4 backpacks.” “He’s over his weight limit with backpacks.”“I calculated my encumbrance, sir. I am 2lbs under.” “I mean, I could poison you again or have my centipede bite you, and we could let war of the toxins happen, but that seems like […]
“Would we be there after the fall? During it? Before it?”“It would be our fault. That’s about normal for us.” “Do you have a chocolate chip spell?”“I do not. That would be him.”“You’re putting a lot on Create Food and Water.” “I like to think of this as ‘helping my encumbrance problem.’”“Having others carry your […]
“That’s good. That’s plausible. I’m changing my answer.” “I have to admit, there’s a small part of me that wants to just turn them all.”“Only turn one side of the debate.” “Jesus. They have a lot more insight than I do.”“They’ve been arguing with each other for decades. You’ve only been arguing with yourself in […]
“A pit trap is nothing. But if you hate someone enough to make the floor hit the ceiling…” “Why would you do that? Why.”“Well, you run, and then you push off and… fail that…” “You should be at full hit points.”“I am at full hit points. Wizard, my friend. Full hit points is 17.” “How […]
“Listen, you only have to open one door with a wheel on it that leads to the ocean…” “There’s a lot of things that would have to go right for that, and I’m against it.” “It’s a 20×20 room. You guys take up half of it.”“Yeah, I just want to be in the half that’s […]