“Pocket biscuit?”“How long has that been in your pocket?”“I mean, time is…”“Too long.” “We’ve searched the whole entire city. I’m sure I can find something to wrap it in.” “I’d close my eyes before I open this. But if you close your eyes, you won’t see the surprise.” “It may be more neatly written than […]
“I prefer my hourglasses non-GMO.” “If you keep going, maybe you’ll find a pamphlet? A Cliff’s notes, maybe?” “So not only are you not familiar with your new religion, you’re also skipping around in the reading.”“We read the beginning and the end! That’s the important part, right?” “I think his problem is that if we […]
“Oh, that’s right. You got touched in an impure manner.”“And bombed my best save while I was at it.” “Hey, ghost junk is ghost junk.” “Or it could have the scroll shoved in its throat-hole.” “Rock is hard to kill.”“But not impossible.” “It’s literally for an animal companion, and you are not my animal companion.”“Yeahhh […]
“I didn’t budget for bail.” “We have enough problems without bringing in dead fish.” “That old adage – don’t lick the dead fish?” “There’s a moral quandary: is it better to eat plants picked from a place where apparently everything is becoming undead, or is it better to eat plants picked from his pocket?” “Babylonian […]
“I’m trying to think of anything I can do with this. Anything. I could go fuck with the trees, but that doesn’t even sound fun.” “But why would he play in the water?”(a pause while everyone just… looks… at the speaker)“Yeah, you’re right.” “To be fair, half of that is what Pathfinder dumps on you […]
“We made some poor choices.”“Did we?”“Yes.” “I say in Imperial Common, ‘You should smile! He thinks he’s being friendly!’”“I am – wait.”
“Didn’t you try to guilt the moon into doing something?” “The whole world is dying? Ehhh. Spooky black clouds around the sun? Different story.” “In fact, we should send a message back that either the world is going to end in a year, or there’s going to be plenty of food, so those of you […]
“To be fair, I threw hero points to keep from getting completely smashed.” “Are they climbing the tower?”“Yes.”“Are the right in the head?”“No.” “That tower goes to the moon.”“Oh. I thought that was – ““That tower goes to the moon. To the moon, that tower goes.” “…That’s funny. I mimicked that and got close enough […]
“He doesn’t pull it out of thin air. He pulls it out of his stomach. Or something – I don’t know where his gates are.” “I don’t pull it out of my ass!”“But there’s more gates to come.” “I can fall just fine.”“Most people can.” “I have a single phrase in my head.”“The turtle moves?”“The […]
“Oh, no. I’ve been smuggling experience between my butt cheeks this whole time.” “It’s a learning things kind of ritual.”“See, and when I drink wine, I tend to un-learn things.” “How many planes do you mean to touch?”“As many as I can.” “We were agreeing!”“But we can’t do it without it sounding like an argument.” […]