“He licks your neck gently.”“Uh, he licks the holy neck. Everything about me is holy.” “Other dude is not your problem right now.”“Oh, he’s my problem…” “So it’s gone?”“Sort of – well, it’s everywhere.”“It’s no longer a combatant.”“It’s now an environmental hazard.” “It’s going to leave your area of influence.”“No, it’s not.”“It really needs to […]
“Is the bar on both sides…”“No, that wouldn’t help.” “That would be rough on a commoner.”“Until you pile enough of them up.” “And was there a plan when we got here?”“No. To be fair, I expected to be arrested.” “They’re trying to be nice.”“Really?” “His mouth could be cleft too. We don’t judge.” “I’m just […]
“Sorry, I was playing basic D&D for a minute there.” “I’d like to roll lower on my save if my save dictates the amount of damage…” “You’re going to have to explain that to me. After we attack the guy.” “A seven? They’re going to take double damage and be blinded for a minute.”“He won’t […]
“If we do this quietly – ““With this group, that’s not gonna happen.” “Depends on what you ask and how you ask them. ‘So, can you tell me where they’ll be…’”“‘Can you draw me a map to get there?’” “Make your bullshittery roll.” “Hazardous is my middle name.”“You have a lot of middle names.” “Is […]
“Seventeen? I’m as surprised as you are.” “I mean, if you really want to confuse them, send me in. We’ll both walk away confused.” “If you want me to carry your flail, it will also not be visible.”A pause. Snickers.“Not like that!” “That’s not a terrible idea. It’s not the worst one you’ve had.”
“Seven.”“Very dead?”“Kills.” “To this day.”“No, it will never be to this day. And it will never, ever be to this very day.” “No, you guys are totally right. The captain? Is a drunk.”
“Pocket biscuit?”“How long has that been in your pocket?”“I mean, time is…”“Too long.” “We’ve searched the whole entire city. I’m sure I can find something to wrap it in.” “I’d close my eyes before I open this. But if you close your eyes, you won’t see the surprise.” “It may be more neatly written than […]
“I prefer my hourglasses non-GMO.” “If you keep going, maybe you’ll find a pamphlet? A Cliff’s notes, maybe?” “So not only are you not familiar with your new religion, you’re also skipping around in the reading.”“We read the beginning and the end! That’s the important part, right?” “I think his problem is that if we […]
“Oh, that’s right. You got touched in an impure manner.”“And bombed my best save while I was at it.” “Hey, ghost junk is ghost junk.” “Or it could have the scroll shoved in its throat-hole.” “Rock is hard to kill.”“But not impossible.” “It’s literally for an animal companion, and you are not my animal companion.”“Yeahhh […]
“I didn’t budget for bail.” “We have enough problems without bringing in dead fish.” “That old adage – don’t lick the dead fish?” “There’s a moral quandary: is it better to eat plants picked from a place where apparently everything is becoming undead, or is it better to eat plants picked from his pocket?” “Babylonian […]