“I don’t like that chair there – I want it over here.”“This is why we can’t have nice things over there.” “Nevertheless, I walk around with sticks of meat between my fingers like some sort of meat-based Wolverine.” “I mean, I had this otherworldly voice that said the ball is firmly in our court, so…” […]
“My friends – ““Oooh, we’re friends now!” “Did you just dab?”“He kissed his guns.”“I thought he dabbed. I don’t know which one is worse, though.” “I’m not making a calendar.”“…That was a very pointed denial.” “It’s actually kind of hot.”“How hot?”“Well, scorching for me. Let’s call it 90.”“Celsius?!” “Look, I only squirt on myself in […]
“And by ‘go talk to them,’ do you mean you’re going to talk to them or you’re going to start shit?”“I’m going to throw them into the cell upstairs. And then I’m going to go talk to the mayor.”“Are you going to talk to the mayor or are you going to start shit?” “I’m not […]
“I knew it wasn’t Canadian, because Canada doesn’t have its own genre of RPGs.” “Two of us were throwing big, flashy spells around.”“I threw wind at a stump.” “Some of us like hand motions!”“…Did you just do ‘I’m a little teapot’?” “We can help you find alterative lifestyles – I don’t mean it like that.” […]
“They say elves are supposed to be eloquent.”“Only when they choose to be. Otherwise they’re assholes.” “I have a fox.”“What does it say?” “He’s got a spell that give me temporary hit points. I do the polar bear plunge for temporary hit points.” “Don’t let her see you raise the shield; she might get ideas.” […]
“I mean, Will is my weast – ““Weast?”“I was trying for worst and least…” “I could just make water.”“So could they. That’s part of the problem.” “This is how you find traps, kids.”“Send in the rogue?!” “Oh wait, a full page later, there are the creatures.”“Ahh, Paizo, how I missed you.” “Dammit, Tolkien, I don’t […]
“There is a 40 foot ridge ahead of you.”“So the opposite of a ravine, then.” “I have an 18 for my Reflex.”“I have a 28.”“28 succeeds.”“I have ‘standing in a hallway that’s not full of flame.’” “They are very hard.”“I headbutt them into oblivion.” “You fucking Leonidas your way through that spike trap.” “Did you […]
“It’s the fucking shibari delivery service.” “Tiny herbs need tiny swords.” “Does the sparrow fly up to you and say, ‘Does the one minute begin when the sparrow shows up, or does it start after that? We should find out. But first, we’ve got to get this message out…’” “Some of us are more modest […]
“Stabbing people is a people skill! It’s got ‘people’ right in the name.” “Well, being stabbed still has people in it, so that’s still a people skill, right?” “I’m sorry, I’m still on the idea of the stork delivering dwarven babies to some sort of glorified compressed-air mail tube system…” “Flaming hands?”“Yes. Flaming wrists was […]
“That just sounds like you’re being cruel as well as dismissive. ‘Do you want the shit that all the magic was stripped out of?’ Yeah, sure, thanks.” “More damage never hurts anybody.” “Timekeeping is not a precise science!” “This is the worst rave ever. Flash-two-three-four-five-six.” “So you’re asking for my help.”“I think it would not […]