EmeraldSilver Blogs

“Seven.”
“Very dead?”
“Kills.”

“To this day.”
“No, it will never be to this day. And it will never, ever be to this very day.”

“No, you guys are totally right. The captain? Is a drunk.”

“Pocket biscuit?”
“How long has that been in your pocket?”
“I mean, time is…”
“Too long.”

“We’ve searched the whole entire city. I’m sure I can find something to wrap it in.”

“I’d close my eyes before I open this. But if you close your eyes, you won’t see the surprise.”

“It may be more neatly written than yours.”
“I have 10 points in scribing.”
“I wrote half of it.”
“…After 2 pages, you’re proofreading.”

“Did you just say jerky bush…?”
“No? I said jerky mush.”
“Ah. A critical difference of one letter.”

“Just because Death is accepting applicants again doesn’t mean the undead vanished.”

“Did you both say the same thing…?”

“Trust me, I get enough honesty from these two without lighting the candle.”

“What does it taste like?”
“…Fish?”

“Black licorice is condemning enough; you don’t need to add rotten fish.”

“I wouldn’t make the rock too big for you. Now, Hoplite Hernia over here…”

“I feel like whatever injury he takes, it’s gonna be named after him.”

“Twenty future corpses?”

“See how much nicer his shoulders are when there’s a clean cut above them.”

“I in fact have done nothing to these people. If only because my initiative is at the end of the line.”

“That’s the one you hit multiple times.”
“Twice!”
“That’s more than one!”

“That would be way cooler if it fell apart in two pieces and you got both rolls.”

“I prefer my hourglasses non-GMO.”

“If you keep going, maybe you’ll find a pamphlet? A Cliff’s notes, maybe?”

“So not only are you not familiar with your new religion, you’re also skipping around in the reading.”
“We read the beginning and the end! That’s the important part, right?”

“I think his problem is that if we fail to save one world, someone could come along later and fix it. If we fail to save all worlds, nobdoy will be left to fix that.”
“Oh god, I didn’t even think about that!”

“You swim down. Or sink, depending on how much you believe in armor.”
“I would say he believes… deeply.”

“You could be attacking yourself!”

“When did that happen?”
“I’ve always had wisdom!”

“I’m going to use the only thing in my repertoire that has any chance of doing anything here.”
“Lightning bolt?”
“We’re in the WATER.”

“You’ve got 6 silver. You’re not sure when you’re going to notice, but you’ve got 6 silver.”

“Oh! You wrote a book. Look what I found at the gift shop outside! A book!”

“And so begins his emo phase.”

“Oh, that’s right. You got touched in an impure manner.”
“And bombed my best save while I was at it.”

“Hey, ghost junk is ghost junk.”

“Or it could have the scroll shoved in its throat-hole.”

“Rock is hard to kill.”
“But not impossible.”

“It’s literally for an animal companion, and you are not my animal companion.”
“Yeahhh that would be weird.”

“What about intercardinal directions?”

“Over there, you get. Over yonder, you get. North? No.”

“13’s my new high for the night. Rolled it twice now.”

“I have new friends; they’re hugging me.”
“So with their grab…”

“Read lips.”
“That would be funny.”
“No, that’s a feat, and I don’t have it.”

“Does she have a head?”
“Yes.”
“All right. We’re one step ahead.”

“I’m not good with uncomfortable silences.”
“He’s not good with comfortable silences, either.”

“I didn’t budget for bail.”

“We have enough problems without bringing in dead fish.”

“That old adage – don’t lick the dead fish?”

“There’s a moral quandary: is it better to eat plants picked from a place where apparently everything is becoming undead, or is it better to eat plants picked from his pocket?”

“Babylonian bubble snot?”
“Babylonian bubble shot?”
“What did you say?”
“Shot.”
“Oh.”
“Y’all are weird.”

“Boy, I’m on a roll tonight.”
“You’re holding back! You wouldn’t want to waste a spell when we defeated the enemy easily!”

“Which does get me a blast – but not a Sonic blast, because the machine was down. I’ve been waiting all night for that one.”

“You should lift with your legs.”
“You should lift.”

“Plop, plop, fizz, fizz, what a disgusting corpse it is.”

“I’m trying to think of anything I can do with this. Anything. I could go fuck with the trees, but that doesn’t even sound fun.”

“But why would he play in the water?”
(a pause while everyone just… looks… at the speaker)
“Yeah, you’re right.”

“To be fair, half of that is what Pathfinder dumps on you anyway. You know, like clothes.”
“I would prefer you keep those.”

“Someone’s bowling.”
“I hope not. Someone may end up pinned.”

“Undead baking bread.”
“The bread can’t die.”
“But it is risen.”

“How sad is it that I’m slower than zombies.”
“It all happens to us sometimes, Darryl.”
“Initiative dysfunction?”

“You made a math happen far better than the rest of us were going to.”
“You made a math happen faster than I did.”

“Did you add the flanking bonus?”
“These guys don’t get flanking.”
“That’s ok. It wouldn’t have mattered anyway.”
“Ohh, salt in the wound.”

“I should have raised my shield to keep the gore off.”

“Do you know how much getting this armor patched for free costs me?”

“Aww, now he looks gross.”
“As opposed to?”
“He’s all melty now!”

“We made some poor choices.”
“Did we?”
“Yes.”

“I say in Imperial Common, ‘You should smile! He thinks he’s being friendly!'”
“I am – wait.”

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“Didn’t you try to guilt the moon into doing something?”

“The whole world is dying? Ehhh. Spooky black clouds around the sun? Different story.”

“In fact, we should send a message back that either the world is going to end in a year, or there’s going to be plenty of food, so those of you that have 8 years worth, share that shit!”

“I know this scroll looks like it was written in crayon, but it’s actually a thousand-gold scroll of sending…”

“You have put down 4 silver on your layaway scroll.”

“Only ChatGPT can write your Wish. Must be ironclad.”

“And it’s a short enough trip, they won’t be IPAs by the time we arrive.”

“Those are two very different stories – Gilligan’s Island and the Odyssey…”

“I do apologize to the water and the seas – “
“For the beating its taking?”
“For the absolute raw-dog beating they’re taking.”

“I didn’t hit on the moon. In fact, I did the opposite – I told her I took her followers.”

“Oh, it’s a puffer-nymph.”

“I have an icon of the natural elements.”
“Yeah, but nobody knows it because you made it up yourself.”

“I was rubbing up against you more than anyone else, so I was kind of ablative shielding against pickpocketing.”

“I do have the pockets of an 8 year old – some dirt, some rocks…”

“What is the shortest character that would die in this water?”

“Someone has carved, ‘As they walk among us, they are no longer above us,’ over and over and over again.”
“That seems positive!”
“-Ly ominous.”

“Oh, this is the first time we’ve fought together! Let me start with hitting you!”

“‘This is a bad idea!’ I’m shouting this from the past.”

“You can create wood, right?”
“Heh-heh…”

“We’ve been in town for like 12 minutes…”
“And we’ve made it worse.”
“Oh, you’ve done more than that.”

“I mean, I know we make bad choices when we go to a new place, but that was kind of epically bad.”

“To be fair, I threw hero points to keep from getting completely smashed.”

“Are they climbing the tower?”
“Yes.”
“Are the right in the head?”
“No.”

“That tower goes to the moon.”
“Oh. I thought that was – “
“That tower goes to the moon. To the moon, that tower goes.”

“…That’s funny. I mimicked that and got close enough to a cat that – “
“Forced to pet the cat?”
“Yeah.”

“From Darryl to Kacey, let Littleoak be a lesson: do not mouth off to the moon.”

“We never reach her.”
“Not with that attitude, you won’t.”

“I would make note that I’m not going to make note.”

“Strangely, werewolves and the moon are somehow connected, but you can’t quite figure out how.”

“So with my giant sample size, I’ve determined that 25% of the city is cultists.”

“To be fair, that other guy said there was going to be an apocalypse too. He just wasn’t quite as creepy.”
“True.”

“We’re going to have to save both the sun and the moon.”
“And then we’re going to have to set up a meet-cute.”

“Schism!”
“Yes, but which one becomes apocryphal?”

“You know, it sounds so reasonable when you start. Next thing you know… War of the Moon Lilies.”

“If this is the city of immortals and all we have to do is bring the moon back to the city of immortals… why did we just not take her through the door?”

“To be fair, I’m not sure we’re going to start our quest by manhandling gods. I’m sure we’ll get there, but I’m not sure that’s where we’re starting.”

“So if I’m understanding correctly – “
“You’re not.”

“You become a prophet, you really start hitting on chicks.”

“It’s not ‘that is the most repulsive thing in the universe,’ but it’s definitely ‘this is the most uncomfortable I’ve been with my clothes on.'”

“He doesn’t pull it out of thin air. He pulls it out of his stomach. Or something – I don’t know where his gates are.”

“I don’t pull it out of my ass!”
“But there’s more gates to come.”

“I can fall just fine.”
“Most people can.”

“I have a single phrase in my head.”
“The turtle moves?”
“The turtle moves.”

“That sounds like a cult.”
“I mean, they accepted me as one of their own.”
“Of course they did.”

“It’s 3 AM and we’re all like, ‘Tower!'”
“No, it’s 3 AM and you’re like, ‘Tower!’ and the rest of us are like, ‘Damn it.'”

“As a player, I have now changed my mind. Having been smote once by the moon in this world, I don’t feel like I need to do it again.”

“Ah, I see. The texture of you being set on it has changed.”