EmeraldSilver Blogs

“That’s what happens when you tie someone up with a performance check.”

“Does this have anything to do with your decorative knot-typing?”

“He supplies bodies to the colleges in the city. Medical colleges.”
“Not bardic colleges.”
“That’s a different kind of bodies.”
“One hopes they’re alive!”

“Can’t really be bothered to remember last week’s perspective.”

“Ambrose, can it be mended?”
“Certainly. Do you have time magic?”
“The candlestick translates time. Does that help?”

“Well, anything is lethal if you hit them hard enough with it.”
“Or in the right places.”
“Or if you stab them afterwards.”

“Why do people keep thinking I’m on the level?!”

“Look, birds come in two sizes: seagull, and pigeon.”
“What about the little ones that sound like this? whistles What do you think those are? Bugs?”
“Mice.”

“When a mask takes your hearing, they don’t give you synesthesia!”
“He just clearly said they did!”

“The bad kind of water balloon.”

“To be fair, four pounds isn’t that heavy, but it’s really going to ruin the lines of my pants.”
“You just need to… center it more.”

“Don’t argue with the DM when you’re getting a bonus for your backstory.”

“Don’t get on my nerves, pretty boy.”
“Please don’t give him impossible goals.”

“I’m an investigator of sorts. That’s why I have all those 2s and 3s.”

“I am edging into heroin chic.”
“Is that with or without an e?”

“I mean, I can fastball special you, if you want.”
“‘What’s in the shutters?’ ‘Me.'”

“There’s a light.”
“It lasts for an hour. Or until I cast it on something else.”
“You motherfucker.”
“Yeah, I already thought about it.”

“Is its butthole sewn shut? Is its mouth – “
“Why would you even ask that?!”

“When Kevin says it’s bloaty, I immediately go back to those traumatizing rat potions.”

“As awesome as it would be, it is not a rat potion.”
“But thank you for asking.”

“No one invited the beetles to the ball.”

“It’s beetle… putty… oozes out of it.”
“Beetle juice?”
“You can say it twice.”
“I already said it twice before you got here!”

“Has anyone ever told you you talk too much?”
“Yes! All of the time.”

“So what happens is Santiago announces himself, they pee a little, and he puts the fire out with their bodies.”

“I have a memory that says to always do what he tells me.”
“Yeah, but he’s widdling in a corner.”
“But he didn’t tell me to widdle in a corner!”

“Nothing breaks up the formation more than killing someone.”

“And every once in a while, I say, ‘And that’s Aiden.'”
“‘Who?'”

“No wonder he’s stylish.”
“I’m sorry, are you saying not all characters are stylish?”

“‘Spiders can in fact hear. They do not have ears, but instead detect sound through fine hairs on their legs – ‘”
“See? Alien bullshit.”

“You tiny fornicators of unwed mothers.”

“I’d like to pretend I’m sitting here fudging it, but I’m not! At this point, I’m invested!”

“They’re clean, they’re shaven, they all have overcoats – “
“They all have Brazilians. She was thinking it!”

“What do you know about fashion? You just bought that shirt.”

“You have almost as many names as I do.”

“…Your animal has failed to start.”

“Doesn’t count if you do the crime yourself. It’s a gentlemanly game.”

“Has anyone told you that purple would look good on you?”
“No.”
“That’s because it wouldn’t. You should stick with purple.”

“When you do large chunks of damage – “
“I don’t know why you’re looking at me.”
“When collective you do large chunks of damage…”

“I don’t think I’ve ever been to a gaming seance!”

“Who gave the spiders swords? This is not a good idea!”

“What exactly are you doing with Society/Will, now that you’ve said you’re going to stick that somewhere?”

“…There’s only a 2% chance that was my fault.”

“You are, in a slight way, aggressively washed off.”

“We academics are highly trainable.”

“Because he didn’t see like a bad guy. Unlike that spider.”

“We are not getting kidnapped.”
“Of course. We are not getting kidnapped.”

“But ultimately, you do retire to your rooms with plans to get kidnapped at some point.”

“There’s a difference between murder and killing at the request of the state.”
“Is there.”

“‘What color are his eyes?’ ‘Cerulean.’ ‘Oh god, he is a douche.'”

“That’s it. My accent starts French, quickly turns Cajun, and then goes Australian.”

“See, if you want to get kidnapped, you need to mark your door!”

“Well! If Assassin’s Creed has taught me anything, this is a cult.”

“Apparently rich is 10 coins.”
“So we’re solidly middle-class.”

“That’s it. I’m going to have to start beating people at random.”
“That’s how terrorists start!”
“No, that’s how graveyards start.”

“See, the problem with using seduction to get information is that at a certain point, you get too much of it.”

“Leave the door open and room for Jesus!”

“No one expects the great detectives!”

“The unsolicited help?”
“In this case, unsolicited information.”
“You don’t get the stress, but…”

“And one parking violation.”
“I left my mouse for five minutes too long, and it was crushed into a tiny cube.”
“I left my mouse for too long and it was impounded. It’s an owl pellet now.”

“In fact, his name is now Johnny Background Character.”

“I am not going to attempt to pronounce the name of this town, because it’s a series of letters that have come together…”