EmeraldSilver Blogs

“I don’t know how you’d play a selkie without being a bard.”
“Yeah, but all your songs would be ” seal noises

“I don’t know how you’re writing a quote for that; it’s not going to work without the hands.”

“Orphanages are just… shops, right? Where you go to buy orphans?”

“No, he’s – oh, you do understand!”
“I do understand. That’s why I changed the word deliberately.”

“And I am incapable of lying.”
“The universe has never heard such a whopper.”

“I’m going to build a fighter with intelligence.”
“I just want to play a horse that drowns people.”

“Let’s not limit ourselves to judges.”
“That was an example.”

“With quotes around trustworthy. It’s for emphasis.”

“She is well.”
“But cursed?”
“What?”

“We went from teeth to maw pretty quickly.”

“I heard blue eyes and teeth – I have blue eyes and teeth.”

“Who at this table has a con bonus?”
“A negative bonus is still a bonus.”

“You guys fucking nuked the dangerous enemy, but the mooks…”
“This was four on one!”

“Nothing says we can’t have more than one brewer. The Coors brothers are a thing.”
“Yeah, but we want good beer.”

“Ambrose.”
“That was Ambrose.”
“I know.”
“Oh, that’s an attack…”

“I’m a gnome with 9 strength!”
“All you need is the strength of a Nine!”

“I didn’t get a bad feeling about them?”
“I like that that’s our standard now.”

“I think Nine has a tattoo that says ‘If you can read this, get a tattoo done,’ but I think it was meant to say ‘leave the scene.'”

“You have never encountered him in this state before.”
“So he’s not mad at me!”

“As long as you believe your bullshit, somebody else will too.”

“I’m sorry we defeated it so quickly?”

“Once again, we had a plan of what we were going to do, and we have completely sidetracked.”

“We’ve already discussed our intelligence; we can move on from that point.”

“I look at Ambrose and say, ‘This is like that time we had breakfast on Fifth Street,’ which in thieves’ cant is, ‘Avenge me if he poisons me.'”

“I make contact with one of Emil’s eyes.”
“It doesn’t make contact back.”

“They would not kick your ass. They would adjust your ass to smile ratio, sir.”

“Nine eats like the tapeworm is hungry.”

“Poked a badger with a spoon. What? It’s an original sin.”

“I mean, he’s either going to live or he’s going to get laid.”

“I’m very smart! Just because I can’t do math or read doesn’t mean I’m not smart!”

“Armin has books and books of math! Did you know there was that much math?”

“You know, if you had left us alone, we would have made it worse.”

“You didn’t kill the spider? I’m disappointed in you both.”
“That spider was an asshole.”

“Darren’s rolling his eyes now and then.”
“Look, every time Darren opens his mouth, I roll my eyes so hard it physically hurts.”

“I mean, we haven’t royally fucked up yet.”
“Yes.”

“He’s not a cow summoner, is he?”

“I would just like to point out that our guild has not had mass murders by cows.”

“Sorry, is my character contrarian? Yes.”
“That’s not really a question.”

“The cricket remembers!”
“That goddamned cricket is holding it hostage.”

“I stole more than everybody else. I stole their hearts.”

“That’s a magical object. I feel like that’s not safe – “
“Could be.”
” – For you.”
“Could be.”

“Magical butt-pluuuug.”

“This exact thing is why we cannot have nice things.”

“Look, I can do numbers!”
“It’s just birds she doesn’t understand.”

“Rick-rolled in his own story.”

“There are only 2 ways the party can divide: brains and brawn, or brain-and-brawn and brain-and-brawn.”

“This is why we can’t put him in a dustpan – there’s too many knives.”

“I’m gonna get Darrin on our side.”
“Because you’re gonna tear him open and wear him as a suit?”

“I’m gonna write it down: 1500 is more than 28.”

“It would be hilarious if he turned out to be that dwarf you told to fart to make more space.”
“That would be incredible.”

“You guys aren’t gonna leave me on the dock, right? Because this is what happened last time.”
“No, no, wherever we go, you’re going with us, even if that’s straight to hell.”

“Technically, the only thing I did was entering.”

“Electricity? Is that a gnome term?”

“Lightning.”
“Ohh – lightning! Why didn’t you say so?”
“I did!”

“I’m not wearing that hat you bought me.”
“It’s the nicest thing you own!”
“I have nice boots.”
“It’s the nicest thing you own.”

“Do you not want clothes that don’t itch?”
“Your clothes don’t itch?”
“Do you not want calluses on your genitals?”

“A simply made hood…”
“Oh, that suits you perfectly! You’re simple and you’re a hood!”
“Oh, that’s a new song.”

“So radiant light is people, if you think about it.”

“I don’t have a list of fetishes on my character sheet!”
“Yet.”

“I am not breaking my voice before the show.”
“It’s not the voice – I can’t have my mascara running.”

“How much does it count?”
“More than you can afford.”
“You haven’t seen me count.”
“Counting doesn’t help you pay for it!”

“I think Nine’s in love.”
“I didn’t think he’d ever looked at a girl.”
“It’s a knife.”
“Oh, that makes sense.”