EmeraldSilver Blogs

“Oh, no. I’ve been smuggling experience between my butt cheeks this whole time.”

“It’s a learning things kind of ritual.”
“See, and when I drink wine, I tend to un-learn things.”

“How many planes do you mean to touch?”
“As many as I can.”

“We were agreeing!”
“But we can’t do it without it sounding like an argument.”

“I see you’ve got a very large not-ring on your finger – do you come here often?”

“That sounds like a method full of regret.”

“I am opposed to that plan, because at some point it’ll be used to put me in jail.”
“That would only be funny once. Or twice. Maybe three times.”

“It takes blueberry days, Pete! Blueberry days!”

“Elloryn is trying real hard to keep his mouth shut during this whole conversation. Because he’s said several times on this trip that he was jury and executioner, and now he can add judge, too.”

“I’m going with pterodactyl. It doesn’t have anything to do with me, but I’m taking it anyway.”

“Oh god, we’re getting minutes now. And then we have to approve the minutes.”

“It’s showing you its underbelly.”
“Soft… squishy… pulsating…”
“Cloaca.”

“More than that, you’re beginning to remember some… things. But we’ll talk about that later when your characters break down with post-traumatic stress.”

“If the Ring of the Ram had hit is, I would have been drowning in gore. I would have needed swimming.”

“Do you get the feeling sometimes that he’s smarter than us and he’s just making things up?”

“I am trained in a lot of skills. Deception is not one of them.”
“That’s what someone with a high deception would say!”

“I’m keeping a quest log in my head, and that one’s sitting at the top.”

“So with Wood, you can just make seeds now?”
“It’s a kind of egg…?”

“Time wounds all heels.”

“What, you break out the reality-warping monster, and now you complain?”
“About puns? Always.”

“Technically I’m neutral.”
“Look around this world – neutral is pretty good!”

“Dark humor is like food: not everyone gets it.”
“Wow, that was dark.”
“In meme form, it comes with a picture of Stalin.”

“We are not stopping every 10 minutes each time you hear a sound.”

“I know two of us are stealthy, and ironically it’s not me and Sarah…”

“Well, the person I was going to have follow the leader has chosen to be bait…”

“That’s what the rats are for.”
“Visions?”
“You ferment the blood just right – “
“I’m out.”

“I have always had an attachment to – “
“Weirdly fleshy?”

“I just would like to point out my enjoyment that we went for the tape measure when we were staring at a map with 1 inch squares.”

“I’m thinking of this as a giant millipede with human legs.”
“I mean, I was thinking more a giant Katamari Damacy ball made of people.”
“I’m trying not to think about that.”

“Very… badly… burned…”
“Look, if you’re going to raise dead, there are consequences.”
“Animate, madam. Animate.”

“Normally I would say you punch into him, grab his heart, and punch it out the other side… but you’re not that tall.”

“Is it possible to throw up backwards? Because I just did.”
“That’s call diarrhea.”

“Do you want to do half damage or no damage to him?”
“I’d actually like to do full damage.”
“That’s a fair cop.”

“I just need a feat that says if I leave an enemy at 1 hit point, I do 1 additional point of damage.”

“In the forest, that might be shockingly good camouflage. Here in the horrible stone city of death… what’s with the ficus?”

“That is infinitely better than mine! I have a zero!”

“Wait. Are you saying we’re in a were-house?”

“They’ve probably thoroughly investigated this place. They’re pretty smart guys.”
“…Ehhhhh. Sure.”

“I’ve got an idea. You should go kick in their door and tell them to calm the fuck down.”
“Good idea. Eventually I’ll have kicked in all the doors in this village and they’ll ALL calm the fuck down.”

“When you put you hand on the road, she just faints dead away.”
“I have that effect on women.”

“Two hours. The bell rang 2 hours ago. Not ‘to this very day.'”

“Why does it take so long to get to sloth?”
“Because by the time you get to sloth, you’re tired.”
“I mean, seven bongs? You’re definitely getting to sloth.”

“Well, step 1 is don’t spoil the crime scene.”
“Whoops. Well, what’s the next step after you screw that up?”

“‘Don’t let the hostage go,’ that’s from the other side.”
“Yeah. ‘Don’t let the prisoner go’ is what I meant to say.”

“I yell at the people, ‘Stay inside!’ And then, in a classic case of ‘do as I say, not as I do,’ I will step outside.”

“Everything? ‘We broke down this door and threatened these people to be calm’?”

“Are we talking about borders or football?”

“If we don’t come back, then we failed.”
“If you don’t remember us, then we failed.”
“Yeah, but that’s a harder metric.”

“All right. Let’s go get forgotten.”

“Can you philosophize and track?”

“It’s really just a rust monster with a really bad attitude… and several levels of sorcerer.”

“I’m not really good with confidence levels; it’s either none or all.”

“And no, we don’t need to worry about a fire – we have a steaming tarp.”

“That’s the thing – they can see into the future, but they’ve lost their depth perception.”

“As you find yourself in front of four nearly elemental forces – “
“But not elementals.”

“That use time stop and pants you? I’m pretty sure that’s standard lich tactics.”

“Why are you so concerned about that right now?”
“Because we always roll initiative at 10 o’clock?”

“Somebody loses their initiative.”
“What, my 13?”

“Paracord golem!”

“This isn’t a hentai!”

“But that’s your thing! Armor and not being able to find focus spells.”

“Well, you have your con modifier bonus.”
“Like I said, I have 5 rounds.”

“I’m not that worried about stabbing myself.”
“I’m not that strong!”

“I mean, if I end up sacrificing an eye, I gain knowledge, right?”

“I mean, we almost got beaten by a shoelace, is what you’re saying.”

“No, I want you to lick all the salt off.”
“Done.”

“Shouldn’t you be trying to look sweet, if you want to be unsavory?”

“Do you have any spare rooms? I see it’s so busy here and all. Also, it’s been at least 24 hours since we’ve set a room on fire.”

“Seems harmless.”
“Mostly harmless.”
“If we make it to morning, I’ll upgrade him to completely harmless.”

“Excellent. I also got a 5. Good thing we’re staying with the wagon.”

“If you have one or more people sticking their weiner in the toaster…”
“You’re never gonna have toast again?”

“Mostly because I couldn’t think of what class to give him, so I didn’t.”
“Yeah, he had no class.”

“Is it ‘unlock’ in Elvish? I actually say ‘unlock in Elvish.'”

“Dead men tell no tales.”
“That’s not necessarily true.”
“Oh, no. I’ll find a way.”

“You big softie.”
“I might need him to backstab a god at some point.”

“It’s not a trap; it’s just an irritatingly placed board.”

“If you do not reach the ground within 1 minute, there is an issue.”
“…Yeah.”

“Next time we should go in through the window. It’d be a lot less fire.”
“…Would it?”
“I’d like to think so.”

“Someone’s black tentacles are currently playing with you… and it’s rapidly becoming a hentai show.”

“He’s gonna regret that in the morning.”
“No, no he won’t. He has sorcerer hit points… and I didn’t roll well.”

“They have an immense gravity. Like they are many, many times larger than they are.”
“They’re almost as dense as we are.”

“So after a few hands, he realizes he may have made a mistake…”

“Sorry, I don’t believe in people shorter than my penis.”

“It’s weird. I’m not used to being the voice of reason. It’s uncomfortable.”

“It was about to get real sketchy. And it started pretty sketchy.”

“…I used all of my words at the beginning of the session.”

“You did good. Made good words.”
“You did better than we would have.”
“That’s because I have conversations, not commit verbal seppuku.”

“That was supposed to be a compliment, but I think it came out wrong.”

“This place seems to grind its people down to make food.”

“God damn it, I have to be the brains of the operation. We’re doomed.”

“I wasn’t trusting anyone, but then I started trusting people. Then you reminded not to trust anyone.”