“Do we all have that note?”
“What’s a note?”
“You would be surprised – maybe – at how many gnome vampires are in here.”
“None?”
“Can you survive another hit like that?”
“Sure!”
“I’m not sure I trust that ‘sure’…?”
“Well, I couldn’t make the wall feel guilty.”
“I think you could.”
“Possession is 9/10 of the law, right?”
“So we own 9/10ths of the inn?”
“Oh, I thought you were going to say we were finding someone local and saying, ‘Hey, we’re living with you now…'”
“No, that’s a different kind of hostile.”
“Excuse me, what’s a good inn to stay at? Move there! We’re kicking you out of your house.”
“This is going to be either a good idea or a bad idea. I open the stone.”
“But you can see that there is a curtain hanging over the window.”
“Is it an evil curtain?”
“All you had to say was that you venerate me if you wanted to say I’m holy.”
“Not put holes in you?”
“What made you choose this vessel?”
“I liked the lines of your ship.”
“Lies! You live in a bed of lies!”
“I mean, I like the lines of the other ships too.”
“Oh my god, I can even make ceramic cups. I am a teahouse all by myself!”
“I’m surprised the one that bought the super-special note-taking tablet isn’t taking notes all the time.”
“It’s not for this kind of mundane matter.”
“It’s for court! It’s a business expense!”
“If he says 2000 a season, I’m going to burn this place down. Not your warehouse – the whole city.”
“Where’s the part where you come out sounding good?”
“I healed them!”
“It couldn’t roll higher than a 10.”
“Now it sounds like you.”
“Oh, you said darkness! ‘No parents!'”
“Chuckling or laughing uncontrollably?”
“They are smaller.”
“Until one of them eats the others and gains its strength.”
“Not helping.”
“That sounds like your lizard brain talking – and by that I mean your lizard brain talking.”
“There are some days I want to r-o-l-e and some days I want to r-o-l-l, and there’s no telling how that day’s gonna go.”
“I chose not to be a voting member of this society.”
“You still have a red rock in your pocket.”
“Or am I happy to see you?”
“Are you… trying to find us work?”
“I clearly recall the GM saying people were just handing us food, and I am running with it!”
“The disadvantage to the island – “
“Is your players.”
“…I’m used to it.”
“Made a nice little friendly overture, and now we’re going to start World War III.”
“As we do.”
“You’ve only got like 3 skills you’re not trained in.”
“I don’t think it’s even that many.”
“Skeletons don’t keep you warm!”
“Clearly the rumors were correct – they have a surplus of food.”
“I’m working on it!”
“I have none of the things that would be applicable for flinging myself over the railing, so I will be taking the stairs, sir.”
“You have gravity.”
“I don’t like that chair there – I want it over here.”
“This is why we can’t have nice things over there.”
“Nevertheless, I walk around with sticks of meat between my fingers like some sort of meat-based Wolverine.”
“I mean, I had this otherworldly voice that said the ball is firmly in our court, so…”
“I think he’s making that feat up.”
“It does sound like he’s making it up, doesn’t it?”
“You’re the stick man; you figure it out. When I come back, there better be pudding on a stick.”
“…Impressive. I didn’t know you could read.”
“As you look at it, it redefines what you thought the world was.”
“Definitely redefines the world – their island is in the middle, and that’s just not right.”
“Again, smile goes all the way across!”
“That doesn’t mean it’s sincere; it’s just less false.”
“Well, technically if it holds 10 minutes of air, doesn’t that mean that after 10 minutes, the food is vacuum-sealed?”
“We have heard your city-state is rich in lumber. What kinds of trees do you have?”
“Tall. Straight. Girth.”
“Did we just get invaded? I feel like we just got invaded.”
“You are not speaking to a biped. This is a serpent.”
“Well, I’m not going to ask for a hug.”
“Boy, we just can’t escape salted fish in Pathfinder 2e.”
“My friends – “
“Oooh, we’re friends now!”
“Did you just dab?”
“He kissed his guns.”
“I thought he dabbed. I don’t know which one is worse, though.”
“I’m not making a calendar.”
“…That was a very pointed denial.”
“It’s actually kind of hot.”
“How hot?”
“Well, scorching for me. Let’s call it 90.”
“Celsius?!”
“Look, I only squirt on myself in private. It’s between me and the spirits, baby.”
“Maybe you’re one of those guys in town where they go to rob the tea merchant and you’re like 9th level and kick the shit out of them.”
“Quit adding more details! I left to carnivorous and cane back to poisonous!”
“Mildly!”
“You have a hero point.”
“I do! Let’s try that again – no, you know what, we’re just going to pretend that didn’t happen and that spell slot is expended and move on with life, shall we?”
“Stick your head in this bucket and breathe deep!”
“We should not take the corpse.”
“We should leave it for the family.”
“We should leave it, and I don’t care what happens to it after that. They can eat it, they can not…”
“I think that would depend on how you presented it.”
“With a catapult.”
“I lost my dignity ages ago.”
“Darryl was about to say, ‘Word travels fast,’ but then I remembered that Edragon has a spell that literally lets him pass messages, so… unphased.”
“This is the mural of ‘shit we want dead,’ right?”
“Until you leave, this is your home.”
“So I can rearrange the furniture?”
“And by ‘go talk to them,’ do you mean you’re going to talk to them or you’re going to start shit?”
“I’m going to throw them into the cell upstairs. And then I’m going to go talk to the mayor.”
“Are you going to talk to the mayor or are you going to start shit?”
“I’m not going to start with ‘roll for initiative,’ if that helps.”
“Can we not be on a boat for a while?”
“Sadly, you make it to the harbor town of Tros.”
“It’s the Nailed It! version of an aurumvorax.”
“Little did you know, you sold the chain to some burgeoning pirates – “
“Burgeoning. Not virgin.”
“Could be both.”
“I knew it wasn’t Canadian, because Canada doesn’t have its own genre of RPGs.”
“Two of us were throwing big, flashy spells around.”
“I threw wind at a stump.”
“Some of us like hand motions!”
“…Did you just do ‘I’m a little teapot’?”
“We can help you find alterative lifestyles – I don’t mean it like that.”
“I’m not gonna lie, I was expecting you to ask for a dried fish.”
“It’s not the same character, Darryl.”
“You don’t actually want a tree to be cut down. You want to own a tree so you can say, ‘That’s my tree,’ when we sail by.”
“I want to own a tree so it can’t be cut down.”
“Now you need to hire cops to guard your copse.”
“I need copse cops.”
“They say elves are supposed to be eloquent.”
“Only when they choose to be. Otherwise they’re assholes.”
“I have a fox.”
“What does it say?”
“He’s got a spell that give me temporary hit points. I do the polar bear plunge for temporary hit points.”
“Don’t let her see you raise the shield; she might get ideas.”
“I’m going to put a whirling boomerang on that stump. I… assume it’s failing its reflex save?”
“Bet y’all didn’t know I had a chainsaw in my pocket.”