EmeraldSilver Blogs

“Somebody loses their initiative.”
“What, my 13?”

“Paracord golem!”

“This isn’t a hentai!”

“But that’s your thing! Armor and not being able to find focus spells.”

“Well, you have your con modifier bonus.”
“Like I said, I have 5 rounds.”

“I’m not that worried about stabbing myself.”
“I’m not that strong!”

“I mean, if I end up sacrificing an eye, I gain knowledge, right?”

“I mean, we almost got beaten by a shoelace, is what you’re saying.”

“No, I want you to lick all the salt off.”
“Done.”

“Shouldn’t you be trying to look sweet, if you want to be unsavory?”

“Do you have any spare rooms? I see it’s so busy here and all. Also, it’s been at least 24 hours since we’ve set a room on fire.”

“Seems harmless.”
“Mostly harmless.”
“If we make it to morning, I’ll upgrade him to completely harmless.”

“Excellent. I also got a 5. Good thing we’re staying with the wagon.”

“If you have one or more people sticking their weiner in the toaster…”
“You’re never gonna have toast again?”

“Mostly because I couldn’t think of what class to give him, so I didn’t.”
“Yeah, he had no class.”

“Is it ‘unlock’ in Elvish? I actually say ‘unlock in Elvish.'”

“Dead men tell no tales.”
“That’s not necessarily true.”
“Oh, no. I’ll find a way.”

“You big softie.”
“I might need him to backstab a god at some point.”

“It’s not a trap; it’s just an irritatingly placed board.”

“If you do not reach the ground within 1 minute, there is an issue.”
“…Yeah.”

“Next time we should go in through the window. It’d be a lot less fire.”
“…Would it?”
“I’d like to think so.”

“Someone’s black tentacles are currently playing with you… and it’s rapidly becoming a hentai show.”

“He’s gonna regret that in the morning.”
“No, no he won’t. He has sorcerer hit points… and I didn’t roll well.”

“They have an immense gravity. Like they are many, many times larger than they are.”
“They’re almost as dense as we are.”

“So after a few hands, he realizes he may have made a mistake…”

“Sorry, I don’t believe in people shorter than my penis.”

“It’s weird. I’m not used to being the voice of reason. It’s uncomfortable.”

“It was about to get real sketchy. And it started pretty sketchy.”

“…I used all of my words at the beginning of the session.”

“You did good. Made good words.”
“You did better than we would have.”
“That’s because I have conversations, not commit verbal seppuku.”

“That was supposed to be a compliment, but I think it came out wrong.”

“This place seems to grind its people down to make food.”

“God damn it, I have to be the brains of the operation. We’re doomed.”

“I wasn’t trusting anyone, but then I started trusting people. Then you reminded not to trust anyone.”

“Do we all have that note?”
“What’s a note?”

“You would be surprised – maybe – at how many gnome vampires are in here.”
“None?”

“Can you survive another hit like that?”
“Sure!”
“I’m not sure I trust that ‘sure’…?”

“Well, I couldn’t make the wall feel guilty.”
“I think you could.”

“Possession is 9/10 of the law, right?”
“So we own 9/10ths of the inn?”

“Oh, I thought you were going to say we were finding someone local and saying, ‘Hey, we’re living with you now…'”
“No, that’s a different kind of hostile.”

“Excuse me, what’s a good inn to stay at? Move there! We’re kicking you out of your house.”

“This is going to be either a good idea or a bad idea. I open the stone.”

“But you can see that there is a curtain hanging over the window.”
“Is it an evil curtain?”

“All you had to say was that you venerate me if you wanted to say I’m holy.”
“Not put holes in you?”

“What made you choose this vessel?”
“I liked the lines of your ship.”
“Lies! You live in a bed of lies!”
“I mean, I like the lines of the other ships too.”

“Oh my god, I can even make ceramic cups. I am a teahouse all by myself!”

“I’m surprised the one that bought the super-special note-taking tablet isn’t taking notes all the time.”
“It’s not for this kind of mundane matter.”
“It’s for court! It’s a business expense!”

“If he says 2000 a season, I’m going to burn this place down. Not your warehouse – the whole city.”

“Where’s the part where you come out sounding good?”
“I healed them!”

“It couldn’t roll higher than a 10.”
“Now it sounds like you.”

“Oh, you said darkness! ‘No parents!'”

“Chuckling or laughing uncontrollably?”

“They are smaller.”
“Until one of them eats the others and gains its strength.”
“Not helping.”

“That sounds like your lizard brain talking – and by that I mean your lizard brain talking.”

“There are some days I want to r-o-l-e and some days I want to r-o-l-l, and there’s no telling how that day’s gonna go.”

“I chose not to be a voting member of this society.”
“You still have a red rock in your pocket.”
“Or am I happy to see you?”

“Are you… trying to find us work?”

“I clearly recall the GM saying people were just handing us food, and I am running with it!”

“The disadvantage to the island – “
“Is your players.”
“…I’m used to it.”

“Made a nice little friendly overture, and now we’re going to start World War III.”
“As we do.”

“You’ve only got like 3 skills you’re not trained in.”
“I don’t think it’s even that many.”

“Skeletons don’t keep you warm!”

“Clearly the rumors were correct – they have a surplus of food.”
“I’m working on it!”

“I have none of the things that would be applicable for flinging myself over the railing, so I will be taking the stairs, sir.”
“You have gravity.”