EmeraldSilver Blogs

“I thought my note said ‘there’s a mysterious jackal-twat’…”

“Don’t worry, we’re going to get farther into this and my dice are going to betray me horribly.”
“Or mine.”
“Embrace the healing power of ‘and.'”

“I heard there was this thing called ‘baths.’ I’m looking into it.”

“I’m just trying to stand up for someone that doesn’t stand very tall.”

“You are going the wrong fucking way. In both north-south dimension, east-west dimenstion, and in time.”

“But I didn’t get pickpocketed!”
“The dude made a pocket in you!”

“No, that’s when I’m dead and in the ring that I’ll tell you you need better shoes.”

“…Was it a familiar-looking were-jackal?”

“Tastes like jackal.”
“Tastes different from the outside.”

“Don’t lick the dude’s hair. Just saying, that’s not going to make the impression you think you’re going to make.”

“Does it zap you when you lick it?”
“I’m not going to lick the sword; that’s weird!”

“How much money have I give you guys recently?”
“Yeah, but we’re not putting it on the roof!”

“As me why the codpiece. Because if he tracks us down, I’ll be able to kick him in the dick.”

“Which we have avenged slightly today.”
“I just wish I could have gotten the codpiece off faster.”
“That’s what she said.”

“I got a twelve! Based on a 13! I’m just excited because it’s double digits!”

“I’m not gonna put it there either! We’re not gonna plague the god of spiders!”

“There’s no money in it, but there’s more pussy than Frank Sinatra.”

“It’s a weird way to say half-elf – a human elf.”

“I didn’t expect this character to have a trademark, but apparently I have a trademark.”

“Hey, you wanna stupidly climb into something twice tonight?”

“Wow. I thought we were kind of edgy with what we take from our crimes…”

“Yes, because you had your own personal mission to go kill some werewolves, and now we have more than we started with.”
“Ah, ah, ah. Not true.”
“OK, we have more than we knew we had when we started.”

“Just don’t go by the crematorium.”
“That’s a whole other kind of snowman.”
“That has more man than snow in it.”

“Does my apartment have windows?”
“No, it has MacOS.”
“No, but it’s already dual-partitioned.”

“I can make any attempt to smother me really uncomfortable for her. One word: mommy.”
“Funny, I pay extra for that.”

“You’re gonna steal a picture of their face and stick it in your bathroom, so don’t fucking tell me about identifiable!”

“I don’t know how you’d play a selkie without being a bard.”
“Yeah, but all your songs would be ” seal noises

“I don’t know how you’re writing a quote for that; it’s not going to work without the hands.”

“Orphanages are just… shops, right? Where you go to buy orphans?”

“No, he’s – oh, you do understand!”
“I do understand. That’s why I changed the word deliberately.”

“And I am incapable of lying.”
“The universe has never heard such a whopper.”

“I’m going to build a fighter with intelligence.”
“I just want to play a horse that drowns people.”

“Let’s not limit ourselves to judges.”
“That was an example.”

“With quotes around trustworthy. It’s for emphasis.”

“She is well.”
“But cursed?”
“What?”

“We went from teeth to maw pretty quickly.”

“I heard blue eyes and teeth – I have blue eyes and teeth.”

“Who at this table has a con bonus?”
“A negative bonus is still a bonus.”

“You guys fucking nuked the dangerous enemy, but the mooks…”
“This was four on one!”

“Nothing says we can’t have more than one brewer. The Coors brothers are a thing.”
“Yeah, but we want good beer.”

“Ambrose.”
“That was Ambrose.”
“I know.”
“Oh, that’s an attack…”

“I’m a gnome with 9 strength!”
“All you need is the strength of a Nine!”

“I didn’t get a bad feeling about them?”
“I like that that’s our standard now.”

“I think Nine has a tattoo that says ‘If you can read this, get a tattoo done,’ but I think it was meant to say ‘leave the scene.'”

“You have never encountered him in this state before.”
“So he’s not mad at me!”

“As long as you believe your bullshit, somebody else will too.”

“I’m sorry we defeated it so quickly?”

“Once again, we had a plan of what we were going to do, and we have completely sidetracked.”

“We’ve already discussed our intelligence; we can move on from that point.”

“I look at Ambrose and say, ‘This is like that time we had breakfast on Fifth Street,’ which in thieves’ cant is, ‘Avenge me if he poisons me.'”

“I make contact with one of Emil’s eyes.”
“It doesn’t make contact back.”