EmeraldSilver Blogs

“And then we kill them.”
“For their crimes?”
“For getting caught.”

“I am not hungry.”
“Then why did you steal bread?”
“It was a bad metaphor.”

“250 gold for… each of us?”
“Yes.”
“For each child.”
“Yes.”
“Do you have any other children who are missing…?”

“I wonder how much money they took with them. Rich kids don’t know how to count; they just have a pocket full of money.”

“I spent quite a bit of that conversation being aghast at what you were saying.”

“Take shorter steps.”
“I cannot. If my legs were any shorter, they would not touch the ground.”

“Why are you splitting the party this quickly?”
“It’s 10 feet!”

“That’s stupid.”
“That’s stupid, and not in a fun way. Which we’d be cool with.”

“What does that go to?”
“The water closet.”
“That’s what I was going to say! The room with the water!”

“He speaks Tumeric, right? He should know all about spices.”
“Not anymore! Now I speak draconic.”

“You have saved me from this rat. I will forever be in your debt, until I decide that I am no longer in your debt.”

“Is that duct tape?”
“We do not share my secrets here.”
“It’s a piece of cloth with slug glue on it, right?”
“It’s a secret unguent.”

“Smells like food.”
“It smells like rot!”
“Desperate times.”
“We’ve been in here for two hours!”

“Why do you have a bag of goo? Do I want to know?”
“No.”
“Who was just trying to create a rat potion?”

“Besides, we have to make sure the fight starts.”
“That’s a good plan. I like this plan.”
“I’m pretty sure that’s the plan we came in here with.”

“Because we’re learning lessons here.”
“Are we?”
“No, because we’re back in this fucking library again.”

” – Coating his breastplate in rime. Thick frost.”
“I didn’t think it was sick beats.”

+1 AC, half damage I would have taken as long as 60ft from Lucian

“Why is this place full of HOLES?”

“This is like the fourth building we’ve set on fire.”
“To be fair, we’re not starting them.”
“No, we’re not starting them. We’re just the target of the fire.”

“You slept with his mother? You are a brave dwarf.”
“I’m still trying to parse whether he’s talking to the undead thing or the paladin…”

“If you’re attacking armor class, you need to roll really well.”
“Nat 20.”
“That’ll do it.”

“That fire you could have taken half of? I could have just misty stepped and taken none of it. So we’re both morons.”

“We’re thieves! If we’re not stealing anything, we’re not doing what we were put on this earth to do!”

“We are not waterboarding Nine.”

“The brewery? That’s where the beer is born.”

“Why did we need salt…?”
“I think that was something you came up with.”
“Oh, it was definitely something I came up with. Most of this bullshit is stuff I came up with.”

“I mean, I have mixed feelings about the Dreaming… but THIS dickhole…”

“You, boy, carry this bag for me – it’s too heavy!”
“What’s in that bag? A ladder?”
“No, that’s the other bag.”

“The pangolin looks at you like, ‘You want me to take care of this, boss? They both have kneecaps.'”

“You don’t want to be part of the cuddle interrogation?”

“Being completely honest, it’s probably pretty clear from my face that something has changed.”

“So you don’t get blood on your sheets.”
“Oh, that blood is from several combats ago. It is sold-solid.”

“This feels slightly less successful than our other successful quests.”

“There has to be a portmanteau there – banana pandemic…”

“Bathe me and bring me to me.”

“Oh, you weren’t supposed to run things. You were just supposed to tell people I’d be back soon in a threatening manner.”

“Was it a +1 street?”

“I regenerate my gumption every night. So I have it in spades.”

“We usually attack late at night. Early in the morning? Watch out.”

“I mean, we can put a bunch of time into coming up with a plan. Or we can do what we usually do and just walk up and see what happened.”

“So you’re going to send me and Darryl off alone? Because that never goes wrong?”
“…Maybe we should switch.”

“I used you to get out of an annoying situation and into something more fun and adventurous.”
“You hear that? We’re not the annoying thing.”
“Better yet, he called us fun and adventurous.”

“Maybe if we put his face back together, he’ll pop back to life… and be just as horrible as the last time we brought something back.”

“Your save is not getting hit.”
“I tried that!”

“You realize you’re becoming Tim Curry, right?”
“I’m OK with that.”

“We didn’t hide it the first time! It went walkabout, and we had to bury an effigy because that’s all we had.”

“See, purple and green go together. Who knew?”
“Yeah.”
“So you knew?”

“How do you know it’s not the same pocket?”
“We spent hours reaching around in – never mind.”
“I was wearing mine as a jock strap while we were doing this. ‘No, keep reaching deeper!'”

“I’ve reached into the bag; the normal calipers are fine.”
“No, normal calipers are not big enough for my ego, sir.”

“We should probably go check that out. You know, far be it from us to have a task and get distracted from it when another task presents itself.”

“Are we hiring a tailor or are we kidnapping a tailor? Or does it depend on how it goes?”

“Look, I’m not one to completely overstep a trap… I usually step right on it.”

“This might be my fault.”
“What did you do?”
“Helped.”

“I mean, he’s saying the things I would have said if I weren’t an asshole.”

“I have exactly one heal, and it has his name on it. It’s called ‘heal Darryl’s character.'”

“Excuse me, is that food for… everybody?”
“Not if you’re slow, brother.”

“Why put a pool in the middle of the floor if you’re not gonna put your feet in it?”
“Scrying?”
“Well, they can scry my nasty toes.”

“Wait, can you just put a note in there and ask for things?”
“Well, he can’t.”

“I clearly became obsessed with portraits.”
“Became?”

“You are just making shit up now.”
“Now? Now?!”

“Unless you have an eighteen-block.”
“It’s just a double-wide, ok?”

“Why does this not sound familiar? I’ve been here the whole game!”

“It just makes it more awkward if I know about the tree before I enter it.”
“I prefer my trees to be anonymous.”

“This is why we can’t have nice things.”
“These ARE the nice things!”

“We’re involved in a lot of fires we didn’t start.”
“That were started by librarian skulls.”
“…That is a theme, yeah.”

“Do you want me to intimidate the tunnel?”

“Fucking human engineering!”

“Buy him something fancy – “
(snorts)
“Alcohol. Fancy alcohol.”

“If I were a vizier, that’s what I would write in the dictionary.”

“You have a… breastplate… huh?”
“That was on the side!”

“He doesn’t have all the hats I’ve got.”
“I do. I just don’t want to mess up my hair.”

“There was an effect that made everyone appear evil. Our people are… not bad.”

“This is the down side to learning to read.”
“People cut off your head and wear it as a hat?”

“Yeah, but that nine-block will be ours.”
“Think of it as an entrance fee.”

“We burned it; it’s ours.”