Author: Sarah

“…And flying a flag on fire is a sign of distress.”
“And if the flag is on fire, it’s a sign that they’re REALLY in distress.”

“Bryan, is your office private…? And how salty are your nuts?”
“…I need an adult.”

“This afternoon, I will try to embed my accent back in my mustache.”

“Leave him there. Fuck him.”
“Mm-kay…”
“Not actually fuck him!”

“Who said you’re going to be killing someone?”
“I won’t be. I don’t have a weapon.”

“It’s D&D on Hard Mode.”

“Does it die if it stops moving?”
“No.”
“Well, it’s not really a shark-dog, is it?”

“Do you work in the ball pit of Chuck-E-Cheese?”
“That’s why he wears orange all the time. He’s one of the balls!”

“76. I like that number. Just not when it’s directed at me.”
“I didn’t hit you with a 76. I hit you with a 90.”

“It puts the halfling in the bag.”