Author: Sarah

“It’s D&D on Hard Mode.”

“Does it die if it stops moving?”
“No.”
“Well, it’s not really a shark-dog, is it?”

“Do you work in the ball pit of Chuck-E-Cheese?”
“That’s why he wears orange all the time. He’s one of the balls!”

“76. I like that number. Just not when it’s directed at me.”
“I didn’t hit you with a 76. I hit you with a 90.”

“It puts the halfling in the bag.”

“Also, Havok won’t let you VTOL the QuinJet because he won’t let the valet drive it away.”

“Whaaaat? I don’t even know what a whispering fart tower is.”

“What about stuff like that?”
“Well, I have stuff.”
“What about that?”

“Can we just… duct tape the vorpal sword to the end of Kevin’s lance?”

“Have you met my girlfriend? No, you haven’t.”
“I’m not sure she exists.”
“She really does exist! She really does exist in Canada.”