EmeraldSilver Blogs

“You can check for traps. Typically done by saying, ‘Morgan, open this door.'”
“I’ll take the 26 instead of sacrificing Morgan.”

“Is it clear?”
“Probably.”
“If I really wanted to screw with somebody, that’s what I’d do. Write something in a perfectly normal hallway. I like to screw with people.”
“Not that I don’t trust you both, but…”

“Been battling gangs for so long, I’ve forgotten how to attack a mudskipper…”

“I mean, if I was attacking the centipede, I’d have to cover my own centipede’s eyes.”

“You’re not going to write a poem?”
“I’m not a poet! I dated one once.”

“I’m doing this. I don’t write or speak Elvish. If you want to do that, get your own damn chalk.”

“…I swear to god, if this is Frogger.”

“Oh. I assume you had a block and tackle.”
“NO! I didn’t even have arrows when I got here!”

“And you don’t get proficiency, because you’re not proficient in fish throwing.”
“You don’t know what we’ve been practicing in the dorms!”

“Commodore Garlic lands in what, if you had to name it, is the breadbasket of the water elemental and is absorbed.”

“It tastes kind of fishy in here…?”
“Sushi shake.”

“Well, the blue one is the chum elemental.”

“But you have your full round of actions. All that movement was free. So was the damage.”

“This is why the magic is draining away. It’s all this bullshit in the dungeon.”

“What’s this? A rogue that does its job?”

“I’m mixing these traps together to make dinner!”
“Barbecue!”

“Falling with grace and determination.”

“God damn it, don’t be kind to them! That’s theoretical dinner!”

“These are particularly tough goats.”
“And angry.”
“We’ll have to cook them longer.”

“I knew you were indecisive, but did you fuck up learning the spell…?”
“Maybe? There were a lot of variations. I forgot which one I memorized.”

“You’ll never defeat it if all I do is write down the last damage it took.”

“Think bloody thoughts. And mist. Bloody mist.”

“Do you think it’s the end of the world for everybody, or do you think walls will survive?”

“What do you think your chance of saving the world is?”
“Twenty percent. Even a solid 12%.”
“I was going to commit to better than 0%.”
“A solid fifty-fifty.”

“I missed the kidney by that much. They’re alive-ish.”
“They’re on their way to the Necromancy class.”

“Crochetmail?”

“I’m going to do what I do best, which is not do the thinking myself.”

“You’ve had intimate sessions more painful than this.”
“Morgan?”
“He’s taken all the classes! It was an elective!”

“The pain returns, but the paralysis subsides.”
“…I think there are goth songs about that.”

“It’s academia. They can’t afford to hire adventurers; they have to grow their own.”

“I hate these people so bad. Once we come out of the dungeon, I’m going to spend the next hundred years chopping down the tower.”

“Also, you’re a graduate. People almost, almost remember who you are now.”

“How many?”
“Four is the number of scrolls.”
“The number of the scrolls is four.”

“Oh yeahh. Advantage on charm and magic can’t put you to sleep. Elven bullshit.”

“We have all had those days. Weeks.”
“Years. Lives.”
“Past lives.”

“You’d like to think this. And I could will one into existence – I am the GM.”

“So… we’re looking for the school Costco.”

“Does it really make that sound effect?”
“No, that’s me.”

“What’s the range on that?”
“On the wand or the sound effect?”

“…What is happening?”
“She doesn’t know.”
“Fair.”

“Well, my strength is greater than I thought it was, but my aim is about what I thought it was.”

“Is that a five or a – “
“Twenty-three.”
“Okay, could have gone either way…”

“How many more things can you do to a dead body?”

“I didn’t choose this. It’s right here in the book – “
“Sure it is.”
“‘Fuck Kevin.'”
“So it’s in bold text.”

“You could throw it.”
“But it’s right here.” pause to roll dice “Okay, so I throw it.”

“The barbarian’s like, ‘Javelin. Throw or hit. Throw or hit. Fuck, I don’t know!'”

“We are the fourth worst thing that’s ever happened to this school.”
“With a little bit of effort, we could make number three.”
“Not much effort.”

“Since you don’t have to pick her up – “
“Yeah, I drag my friends.”

“What were the gelatinous cubes sent to stop?”
“Christmas?”

“You’re right, I was supposed to come up with that. And then I worked. And broke a TV.”

“Well, probably about the point we started trying to set up his mudskipper and Annie’s mudskipper is where we went wrong…”

“Putting the hell in help.”

“I’m just shooting for ‘not noticed by the librarian.'”
“Your bar’s a lot lower than it used to be.”

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“‘What is the name of the book?’ ‘Which book?’ ‘The one with all the sprinkles!'”

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“I made ONE note!”
“That’s what I needed.”

“I would like to look at the records on – “
“Records are only available to myself and associated clerks of the record room.”
“I would like to apply for the opening for associated clerk of the record room.”
“Here you go.”

“Mission accomplished! Also knowledge gained – how weird.”

“How bad could it be? Well, we did get measured for coffins this semester.”

“Well, I mean, if you’re going to be abused by an air elemental, you might as well be greased up for it.”

“Pedantic.”
“At a school.”

“That’s not the missing student we’re looking for.”

“So in an effort to deflect blame off of us on the chance that it was us, I blamed the missing student.”

“Did I fart in conjuration class or something?”
“Well, did you know that the human body farts an average of 12 times an hour?”
“…I did not.”

“That’s a good idea, actually.”
“What, pushing him down the stairs?”

“Anything interesting in the robes? Pockets?”
“Just smells.”

“Because that’s how we do things.”
“We make generalizations based on very small sample sizes.”
“We extrapolate based on a single point of data…”

“It’s statistically accurate; we just didn’t put numbers on it. So it’ll stay statistically accurate.”

“Super unusual really rare book annex.”
“That is about as reasonable as anything else.”

“Carrick said that. Khleo did not.”
“I thought it.”
“Was there a ‘you idiot’ at the end of it? I’m hearing a ‘you idiot.'”

“I am going to write down everything she says, phonetically, to the best of my ability. And then I’m going to go learn that goddamn language. I’ll be right back.”

“And with that, we have done the first sentence of today’s adventure.”

“I like how half of us are jumping into this with both feet, and half of us are like, ‘Wait, hang on.'”
“And then there’s Sarah.”

“It doesn’t really matter which it is; I just want the address to call home.”
“That’s a really good idea!”

“And now that the fight’s about to start… I’m going to average my luck back out.”

“Were you thinking about the place upstairs when we – “
“I wasn’t not thinking about it…?”

“Not my area of expertise, but I trust in others’ abilities.”
“You fool.”

“I read what it says. Don’t fucking Wish spell me.”

“It’s funny – it says an Intelligence test will tell you he’s the divinist… or you can just ask him. He’s not shy!”

“He started it.”
“Yes, but you’ll be asleep soon.”
“So will I.”
“Yes, but you’ll be far away.”

“By all the gods. This is slightly improper, but please… please… come to me, and I will teach you and Dakota how to wash your smallclothes.”

“You told her where the mudskipper is, didn’t you?”
“No, but I made some suggestions.”

“What DID we do with Annie?”
“With or to?”

“Maybe there’s a reason Annie left the room.”
“Maybe it wasn’t me!”

“That’s all right – I feel like flubbing the partying roll is in character.”

“Let’s face it – distracting Sariel is probably as easy as, ‘Look, a tapestry.'”

“There’s no penalty to it, no advantage. He’s just interested in what you’ve found.”
“He’s subscribed to your newsletter.”

“Just have to sober up enough to go to class. Don’t have to sober up – just have to sober up enough to go to class.”

“Placing odds on her being dead…?”
“You’re not taking my money again.”

“Potbellied pigs? They’re pretty scent-based.”
“If you’re a truffle.”

“First name Unknown, last name Cork.”
“Seems reasonable. For Discworld.”
“Which is why it’s not reasonable.”
“I don’t understand.”

“Does Commodore Garlic command the other trout?”

“It’s easy to locate the immovable object – it’s right where you left it.”

“I will give her the favor of not coming to detention anymore.”

“That is not nearly as encouraging as you think it is.”
“She’s a sea hag – what do you want?”

“Does anyone have any favors or any personal relationship with Professor Prumb?”
“I haven’t pissed anyone off yet.”
“That’s… not exactly the same thing.”

“Even with disintegration of all available mass?”
“You know… you ask questions other people don’t ask.”

“Stupid double-secret probation.”

“Morgan? You can’t research.”
“Can I do illicit experimentation on teleportation circles to see where they go?”

“So you’re the one we have to pull out of the bathroom because you’ve been in there for 2 hours, staring down the drain?”
“According to these two? Yeah.”

“I mean, to be fair, the mudskipper is your roommate and she’s just the annoying pet.”

“You need roaming acceptance?”

“And I’m going to cast Disguise Self, so I look like an elf.”
“Cheating bastards, anyway.”
“Yep.”

“At 8th level, we can spend an entire night in my cushioned – “
“Crevice?”

“It’s where they keep the ‘eat-em’ in arboretum.”

“You know I’m a potted plant, right?”

“If we were all elves, we’d only need 4, right?”
“Yep.”
“Stupid elves.”

“Were you trying to give me the ring, because it fits.”
“It fits anyone.” pause “That didn’t come out the way I meant…”

“I have run across this bridge; I have been carried across this bridge. I am no longer afraid of this bridge.”