EmeraldSilver Blogs

“That’s not what I was expecting.”
“I was not asking about their shoulders.”

“I was expecting you were going to throw them over.”
“Not yet.”

“But it doesn’t look… proud, or happy, or…”
“Molecularly stable?”

“All is duck. Duck is all.”

“Ohh… DID the gelatinous cube come by in the meantime? On the bright side, the mudskipper will come back…”

“How do you feel about rainbow macrame?”

“What’s the AC bonus for knitted armor?”

“The hurting means it’s working.”
“That’s orc medicine in a nutshell.”

“That went exactly as we hoped.”
“That went exactly as I expected.”

“…I decided not to Shocking Grasp the electrical duck.”

“Some of you will actually succeed to new levels; some of you are Sarah.”

“I have a crusade; I found somebody that’s in bondage – “
“Hehehe.”
“In bondage, not into bondage.”

“Elvish. Asshole.”
“But I repeat myself.”
“No, no. Not all of us are assholes; some of us are dicks.”

“All right, I’ll stop. Everything’s made of foamcore…”

“And yes, you see her zip by, and you can slap her ass, pinch her cheek, and steal her change on the way by. Or you can try to catch her.”

“The only uniform would be steel-toed boots.”
“So… naked except for boots?”

“Nothing says a ball-buster like wearing your balls on your sleeve.”

“Yeah, I don’t wanna be a duck. Ducks are lame.”
“It’s almost like that’s a turn of phrase!”

“I have ‘lackey.'”
“He’s not a lackey.”
“No, he’s more of a sidekick.”

“Well, if you’re having lunch with me, I’m not good on op-sec…”

“Studying is more like locking yourself in your room, spending all of your time studying, and then rolling like everyone else anyway.”

“We’re actually too curious to say no.”
“That’s a character flaw I can appreciate.”

“You wouldn’t believe why I’m here.”
“The entire cafeteria knows why you’re here.”

“You don’t have to roll disadvantage when trying to convince your own party members.”
“That’s a disadvantage all its own.”

“I said I was going to the arboretum.”
“Yeah, but she already had that queued up.”
“I was going to the arboretum!”

“Can I just get a spell to call an elf? ‘I’m haggling – get me an elf on the line.'”

“Bear in mind that I’m carrying a punch bowl and a boot.”
“And there’s a vomiting vulture on your shoulder.”

“I’m going to attempt to be intimately familiar with all her personal objects in our room.”

“Someone’s going to disappear into a ditch, aren’t they.”
“It does have those vibes, yeah.”

“That’s a good point. Probably around week 3.5 or so, I get around to asking his name…”

“I guess we’re looking it up: beating with a sack full of soap.”
“Sock. Just one sock and just one bar of soap.”

“Is that sarcasm?”
“No.”

“Did you see she turned into a troll?”
“She’s a sea hag. You should be more sensitive; we are not always in control of how we look.”

“When you leave, she’s in the form of a greasy student who’s never left their parents’ basement.”
“Hey. I’m right here…”

“4th. Convalescence and necromancy. Maybe I should become a necromancer.”
“Maybe it’s a sign?”

“I think we’ve reached a conclusion, but – out of character, I don’t think we’re all in agreement about the same thing.”

“Are you pro Vader and the Emperor surviving?”
“No.”
“That was a long pause.”

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“We can close the door.”
“With the cat outside the door…?”

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“After drinking for 72 hours, you’re damn right you have to go.”

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“Man, that makes this plan significant more challenging.”
“What, a neat character sheet?”
“No, reading the rules.”

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“They see you coming when you use a door.”

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“You feel like the ship is side-eying you. As much as a ship-droid can…”

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“Because we’ve probably got really good bounties on us.”
“Tell him about the profit margin!”

“If we land on an Imperial world, that will be the least of your problems. We have a lot of exciting problems if we land on Imperial worlds…”

“Biological restraining bolts…”
“I call that a rolled-up newspaper.”

“If you use it on a beast, it increases your beast-riding. If you use it on a person – “
unison “It increases your person-riding?”

“So really, I spent the next few months either screaming, meditating, or fixing something.”

“We stopped using ranks on the ship after the air quotes started.”
“…I can see that.”

“Yeah, you know, I still have some difficulty with that number 66 thing…”

“You know what else is in the cargo hold? A whole car full of rebels! We should probably let them out.”

“Nur.”
“Noor.”
“Nur.”
“Noor.”
“Nanu, nanu.”

“I worked for a bed.”
“No, you worked for a bed and alcohol.”
“Only because I kept swiping it.”

“Look, you didn’t ask how to get on the ship without immediately getting captured.”

“It’s paying back to the community!”
“Until you break out of Imperial prison and murder a bunch of people.”